21 Comments

Bob this happened with my 24 year old brother who was dying from Non Hodgkins Lymphoma Type B. We all left the room and he passed. This was in 1998.

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Hi Sheena, I'm sorry to hear about your brother. I hope this new perspective gives you comfort. Thank you for sharing.

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Bob, I had a question I have been telling my late husband John to come visit me he hasn't yet I know it is silly and I know he loved me but I feel sometimes he doesn't want to visit or stopped loving me it is just crazy thoughts I think about in my head I know he loved me, but I miss him a lot I know he would want me to move on with my life but easier said than done lol. I just thought you might tell me if his Spirit is far away or could he be here with me and I just don't know it I can't see him or hear him either. Also, i had one more question for you back in July of 2016, I was sitting at my computer my dad had already went to bed and I was by myself in the living room just looking up stuff on my computer when all of a sudden I saw my lights flickering for like 5 seconds and then I felt a touch on my right shoulder it kind of startled me and i ran in my dad's bedroom to tell him what happened now it was not raining or thundering, I looked outside to make sure anyway, later on I was telling my mother-in-law she said it was probably John and it made sense to me then I guess he was either saying hi or bye ir maybe trying to contact me, I wanted to hear your thoughts on it. Thanks for all you do to research the Afterlife it really makes me feel better after our loved ones pass away that they are not alone. Thanks again, Lisa

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Hi Lisa, John is certainly around you, even if you don't feel it. It's not that he's not visiting you. It's more that you're not aware of it. The more you learn about the things I discuss here, it's possible that you'll begin to notice the signs and signals that he's around you. I should point out that the second question you asked about the lights flickering and feeling the touch on your shoulder are a perfect example of this. That is him saying hello. Yet it's important that we acknowledge these signals if we want them to continue. Awareness and openness is the key. Nonetheless, he's always there and will be relentlessly patient with you as you grow to recognize his hellos from heaven.

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Thank you, Bob, I appreciate your kind words I hope he is around me maybe watching over me and my In-laws and Son, I hope he is around them too, my Mother-in-law said she hasn't had a dream about him. That is another question I wanted to ask you, I had frequent dreams about John the first 5 years but after that not too many is it because he sees I am moving on with my life and not much grief why he doesn't show up in my dreams anymore? I am just curious about why he stopped coming into my dreams I still want to dream about it makes feel closer when I can see him in my dreams. Can you give me more insight on that please? Also, I only had 1 dream of my dad since he has been gone 2 years why don't I dream more about my dad? Sorry with all these questions I just can't help but wonder. I wanted to also let you know I am taking another GriefShare online starting on June 8th, 2023. I had taken a course back in 2016 but since I lost my dad and one of my best friends I feel I needed another course on it. One of my other best friends lost her mom and dad due to Covid, she was going to take it with me but she has had things going on in her life she said she will take it later on but I wanted to go ahead and take it again it could help me through grief again, it is sad I cried a little for my best friend but felt I hadn't grieved enough I don't know why we were friends since the 9th grade but we didn't see each other everyday either maybe that is why it just hasn't hit me hard yet I guess. Thanks again for your insight on these articles I really enjoy reading them and I appreciate you writing me back with good insights. Hope you and your wife have a great and blessed Holiday weekend. Thanks, Lisa C

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Hi Bob. I enjoyed reading your article on the 3 reasons why our loved ones may leave their bodies early when someone leaves the room. Me and my dad and my aunt was in my dad;s brother's hospital room this was December 22, 2016, after we left to go home my brother had called my dad to let him know his brother passed away, we were there we were still in the car almost home when my brother to tell us he had passed away my dad's brother was on a machine to help him breathe he was 91 years old, it was sad but he had been in a nursing home before he went into the hospital and my dad's sister had passed away in September that same year also, my dad had also lost another brother he had and I had lost my husband in June of the same year, 4 deaths in 1 year really sad, anyway, my dad passed away in January of 2021 me and my sister-in-law says he is having a good time with his immediate family now, he is having a good time now. Thank you again for that articlle it was really interesting to read. Sincerely, Lisa Castello

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Hi Lisa, so much loss in such a short time. I can't imagine. Every person's passing holds its own set of emotions, some similar to others, some quite unique. I think your sister-in-law is correct in her thinking. People who come through in readings with mediums always seem to be joyful and even joking around a lot. Thanks for sharing your stories.

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Thanks for responding back Bob, I try to think of the good times I had with my loved ones although sometimes it is hard to deal with but i know they are all happy and visiting each other maybe even learning still what do you think do our loved that have passed on are they still learning about things in the Afterlife? Hope you and your wife a blessed Holiday weekend. Thanks for your articles and reading ours I do appreciate reading what you write about and reading what you write me back.

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Hi Lisa, yes, one day I will be writing an article about how our loved ones in spirit continue to learn and grow in the afterlife. In fact, it's an important aspect of living a human lifetime that we get to continue that learning and growth after death. You're very welcome. It gives me great fulfillment to do it.

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Thanks, Bob appreciate your feedback on that. My husband loved to read while he was on earth now he probably has a more understanding of reading and learning more than he did on earth, he had a disability and I do to that is probably we got along so well together, he will always be a part of me and my families life, my mother-in-law still cries especially on Mother's Day I feel so bad for her she loved her son so much, I can see it in her although her and my husband clashed they were so much alike that is why they clashed a lot lol. Anyway, will be looking forward to the article you put out for that subject. Thanks again, Lisa C

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Bob, what you have written is very comforting to me.

My husband was diagnosed with stage four pancreatic cancer in April 2021. We almost lost him in August of that year, but he passed away the end of December of 2021.

My husband was in a coma like state the last day and night he was with us. Our youngest son (we have 3 sons) was helping me take care of my husband that last evening and when we were finished doing what we needed to do to make sure my husband was comfortable, my son and I left the bedroom.

I made myself a cup of coffee and was going to sit down with our family members who were there in our living room. We were waiting for our middle son and one of my husband’s sisters (the younger sister with whom he was closest) to arrive.

Before I sat down to drink the coffee I had just made, I felt the need to go check on my husband. It had only been about 30 minutes or less since my youngest son and I had left his side.

I entered our bedroom and my husband was still and quiet - I checked him and he had already passed.

I’ve felt so guilty and sad that I wasn’t at his side when his spirit left his body. Of course, I’ve had to come to terms with knowing it was MY wish to be there, holding his hand when he passed, but he may not have wanted me to be there at that moment. We had been together 42+ years, married 38+ years and had gone through so much together.

The other thought I’ve just had after reading what you’ve written here is that it may not have even been me who he was trying to protect if he was waiting to pass while alone.

Because he was so close to his one sister all of his life, and she hadn’t yet arrived that evening, his soul may have wanted to spare HER the trauma of being there when he took his last breath. There’s no way, obviously, for us to know for sure.

Until this moment, I had felt that I had failed my husband by not being at his side at the time of his death. Even though some of us were only in the living room, I had not wanted my husband to be alone when he passed.

I hadn’t been considering that maybe it was his wish to depart when no one was in the room.

Thank you, Bob, for what you do. It’s almost been 17 months since my husband passed and I’m still trying to work through my grief and all of the various thought and emotions.

Karen C.

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Hi Karen, I'm glad the article gave you a new perspective to consider. It's a common occurrence that leaves many people feeling upset for various reasons. You feeling like you might have failed him is a big reason why I shared this. As you recognize, it was a fearful story you were telling yourself, which only added to the depth of suffering and emotions that you were already feeling from the loss. I'm sure, too, that your husband would never want you to feel that way. In so many articles, I feel the presence of people in spirit inspiring me to write. Feel free to ask questions you might have, as they may inspire new article subjects as well. Thank you for writing.

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Hey Bob! It's me again. This isn't specifically related to this article but when you find a minute to respond (not urgent, of course) here or elsewhere, I'd love to get your feedback about a 'mantra' I recite to myself when I read about horrifically traumatic events such as mass shootings: It says: "Remember, this is all part of the ILLUSION you signed up for when you chose to enter Earth's dimension." Bob, what's your brutally honest response? Do you feel that this mantra is a realistic way for Earth-dwelling spirits to reliably confront unimaginable trauma?? Please know that I'm not expecting a Divine-inspired response here. (I'm retired so I have all the time in the world to hear back!). (Thanks so much for all you're doing, with the support of your Melissa).

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Hi Becky, what a great question. The thought that everything is an illusion is an advanced perspective. I think if that gives you comfort, it’s a wonderful mantra. There’s profound truth to it. We certainly did sign up for the negative events as much as the positive ones when we chose to experience a human life. Some might have a hard time with it because while we’re having the human experience, it certainly doesn’t feel like an illusion. Yet the greatest illusion is our belief in mortality. We are eternal beings, not in the flesh, but certainly as spiritual beings.

To your soul, every event is merely an experience. Souls do not label experiences as good or bad. I often think of the human experience in reference to storytelling. In movies, for instance, if nothing bad ever happened, viewers would rate the movie poorly. They’d consider it boring. I think souls expect the same from a human lifetime. The more ups and downs that exist, the more challenges and obstacles that must be overcome, the more learning and growing that takes place for the soul. And the knowing that results from those experiences are held eternally as well since the soul is eternal. Thanks for sharing your mantra. I believe it will help others who read it. PS, If you haven't read it, I think my article titled "Think Like A Soul" is related to this subject: https://bobolsonconnect.com/p/think-like-a-soul

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When the hospital called that my adult daughter was not responding, was the first I knew she'd been medevaced after passing out on the street just 6 miles from my home. It was over 110° that day and she was walking around in it! By the time my grandaughter and I got to the hospital, it was way too late. I knew she'd been gone for long time. Heart breaking. I was angry because the authorities did not let me know when they picked her up. It's a very small town and they all knew who her mother was. I've long released that anger and forgiven. Wish you had been in my world then, however. It wouldn't have taken so long. Thank you for being you! 🤗

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Sharon, you are a shining star in a sky of people. You have much to teach from the personal work you've done climbing out of the vast abyss of loss that you experienced. Thank you so much for writing.

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Lol At 82 what's a gal to expect. Too many years to escape. Not that I'm complaining. I'm in very good health considering and the brain works well, most of the time. 😁 Thank you Bob!

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Hi Bob, outstanding article! No doubt it's bringing people a lot of comfort. I learned awhile back about spirits leaving the body before any suffering occurs. With that knowledge it's not so heartbreaking to know when people and animals die a violent or scary death (but there are exceptions, right?) It's still upsetting to a degree, but not always tragic.

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Hi Becky, I find so many aspects of what I've learned about the afterlife comforting. I realize in hindsight how much inner peace was walled off by my early skepticism. I agree with you. Thank you.

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This is so common and NO ONE writes about it! Thank you Bob!!!

You make total sense! You helped me soften my attitude to this phenomenon in general.

And it was a relief you were writing about it.

It’s something that a lot of us think about and obsess about but don’t talk about.

Marilise

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Thank you Marilise. I love your phrase, "soften my attitude." I appreciate your feedback.

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