Thank you, Bob for this information I appreciate your advice on my dreams it just seemed weird that I would have 2 dreams of him in one week. I feel I do need to find peace that he is alright and hopefully watching over me and my family. I will have to see what he is trying to tell me maybe to move on with my life and not dwell on him so much, I know I need to but I don't want to forget him either, right now I am in a GriefShare class online on Zoom, I did take it in 2016, but I have a best friend who lost both of parents to Covid and it is really hitting her hard I told her I would take it with her and it would help her but she is having a hard time dealing with her Parents being gone and I can understand I lost my dad the same year and month she lost her parents, so that is another reason I wanted to take this course again and also I lost another best I knew since high school she passed away from Covid also, so sad but she is with both of her parents and 2 of her brothers she still has a brother that is alive. Anyway, I know you are busy, thanks again for all your good advice it is always nice to read the articles you write and send to our emails. Thanks again, Lisa C
Hi Bob, thank you for telling me that I really feel that John is trying to reach out to me I dreamed about him again early this morning, when do you have dreams of them? I have heard in the twilight hour can you tell me what time that is in the morning please? Might of been this morning because I dreamed me and John were at this hotel and we were trying to find a place to be alone but everywhere we went there was people everywhere I really feel he is either trying to contact me or just trying to let me know he is with me I just can't see him around me when I am awake lol. This the 2nd time this week I have had a dream about him, I was just wondering is it my subconscious or is ot really his Spirit with me in my dreams? The last time I had a dream about him was July 1, 2023, so I feel you are right he is trying to reach out for me somehow through my dreams, I love dreaming about him, I really miss him he was real ill and we didn't get to talk much when he was alive, I was working at one point then Walgreens that is who I used to work for they let me off to be with him it was real nice of them to let me do that , I was going to go back and work one day a week to let me keep my benefits going but John passed away before I could start he passed away on June 12th, 2016 and I was supposed to go back on that Monday on June 14th, but John didn't make it that far his body gave out, Anyway, I will do what you said and ask him to send me signs that he was really in my dreams I have asked him before to send signs he is around but I haven't received anything yet. Thanks again Bob for your encouraging words if you can give me ideas of what signs I could ask for would appreciate it so much. Thanks again, Lisa Castello
Hey Lisa, I should just add that John isn't "trying" to contact you. He is contacting you through your dreams. I know a lot of people who would love to have their deceased loved one visit them in this way. Many have asked but it hasn't happened. A dream visitation is a much better contact than any after-death communication you can get while awake. But he might also be trying to show you something. If that's the case, it's a mystery that you'll have to figure out for yourself. But given the two dreams, it seems to be a message about finding peace in your living space. In the first dream, you were living in a house that made you happy. In the dream this morning, it involved a hotel where you were trying to find a place to be alone. I'm not saying this is definitely a message, but it's something to consider and think about. Have fun with it. People in spirit are very playful.
Hi Bob, thanks for responding back with me it is a funny subject. I had one more question about our deceased loved ones. I dreamed about my husband, he came into my dream on July 1st,2023. I was missing him, so he came into my dream, and we were happy, He was alive I was so happy to see him but I don't remember everything we talked about I just remember us being happy and living together in a house but I didn't recognize. the house we lived in it did leave me with a good feeling at the end of the dream. My question is did he come into my dream maybe to comfort me and let me know he is still around me and my family? I guess my question would be does he watch over me and my family? Thanks again for responding back with me. Thanks, Lisa Castello
Hi Lisa :-) Yes, your husband visited you in your dream to show you that he still exists and is watching over you and your family. The evidence for this is that he knew you were missing him, so he was able to visit you in a dream to let you know he's around and to comfort you. What a wonderful blessing to have this dream. That feeling will be with you whenever you think of it. Now that you know he's there, tell him some ways that he can show you he's around while you're awake. Make it something that will allow you to know it's really him sending a signal. Check out this article about my first after-death communications (hellos from heaven) and the sign my father sent me to signal he knew I had just written about them (it's at the end). My best wishes to you, Lisa.
Hi Bob, I enjoyed reading your article I think we all have questions and wonder so that is good you wrote this article it gives people relief too. I have heard questions like this before from other websites, I have looked up. Thanks for letting us know about this subject, I really enjoy reading your articles. I do enjoy the humor also, in this article too. Thanks again for a good article I always love reading your stories. Thanks, Lisa C
Hi Lisa, That means a lot to me, thank you. It's interesting, you're the third person to mention appreciating the humor. To be honest, I didn't realize it was there, but I see it now (the Hokey Pokey, doing a jobbie--I had to look up how that's spelled--and spirits watching us with high-powered binoculars). It certainly makes writing about sex, being on the toilet, and watching dogs do their business less awkward. Thank you for you writing, Lisa!
Thanks Bob! I have often had this question but thought it silly (or superficial
or not that important) to bring up. I’m glad you brought it up cause I feel some relief😂!
I get chills a lot and feel I communicate that way often with spirits on the other side- either it’s the actual person I’m thinking of at the time or somebody on the other side (don’t know who - spirit guides?) agreeing with what I’m saying to somebody - usually some encouragement or a personal insight of some kind. So I feel that spirits are always around and to be honest I have gotten paranoid about this topic😂😂😂! Lol!
I love your writings and have loved your book Answers About the Afterlife since you first published it. I ordered and bought three copies then at Barnes & Noble😊and gave away two as gifts.
Hi Marilise! As they say, there are no silly questions. I have no doubt that this is your connection to spirit, both loved ones in spirit and spirit guides. How nice that you can feel the chills sometimes. Yet I understand the idea of spirits always being around can also get into your head. It happens with amateur mediums a lot until they learn that they can tell the spirits what they want them to do. I first noticed this early on when a medium told all the spirits who showed up to communicate to me in a reading to get in a line and talk to her one at a time. Prior readings with other mediums were not so organized. Messages were random and the mediums often didn't know which spirit was talking. This taught me how much control we have with spirits if we just take control. Thank you for your kind words and your generosity in giving copies of Answers to people. It's the greatest compliment one can give an author.
Thanks for the heads up on these questions. I like the sense of humor in your articles. I have some medium friends and a sense of humor seems to be a good part of who they are. Also, our loved ones in spirit have a great sense of humor as well. Thanks Bob.
Hi Tina, that's so true, people in spirit are really in touch with their sense of humor. Perhaps that's why mediums can be so fun. They're talking with spirits all day long. Thanks for writing!
My husband’s name was Robert. Many called him “Bob”. Our sons and their friends called him “Big Bob” (he used to lift weights, arm wrestle for exercise). Just thought I’d add that. 😊
I have believed, too, that our deceased loved ones “see” us in everything we do, but that it is different for them now that they are spiritual, and they do not have the same thoughts and feelings, and emotions as we do in our human form. We are more limited in our human capacity.
I was wondering what your thoughts are regarding our deceased spouses and do they only “stay “ with us for a limited time?
Someone very recently told me that they believe we can sense our deceased spouse’s love and presence for a time, but that when the deceased spouse believes you don’t need them as much, they move on.
My husband passed away almost 19 months ago from stage IV pancreatic cancer. He and I were married 38+ years, but together 42+ years when he passed. I very much feel his love and can sense his presence which is comforting, but at the same time, can still make me feel sad because I miss his physical presence.
I sometimes feel confused because I will ask him to “please stay “ with me always. I have lost him physically and do not want to lose, too, the Spiritual connection I feel I have with him.
I believe he’s in a much happier place. I believe in Heaven. I believe his soul is at peace and experiencing the greatest joy and love that we here on Earth have yet to experience. I wouldn’t want to be selfish.
I don’t know if my wanting to continue feeling his loving presence holds him back in any way. I honestly don’t think that happens because if his soul/ spiritual self is meant to continue on its own journey, my mere and frail humanity will not keep him from going/ doing what is meant for him. I’m not sure if this is making sense.
It just makes me sad to think that one day, my late husband’s soul/spiritual self (for lack of a better way to describe his new life) may decide he’s been around long enough and doesn’t need to - or cannot continue to - be “near” me, since I have to continue this grief journey here on my own and continue to learn from it. I hope I will always feel his love and presence.
Hi Karen, this is an article I should write one day, but the brief answer is that I don't believe our loved ones in spirit ever cease to be with us. There is no time in the afterlife, so it's not like them giving us their attention takes up their time. The fact is they can do several things and be in several places in what we would consider the same moment. Also, twenty or even forty years of our lives goes by to them like the blink of an eye. They're happy to wait around watching over us until we come home to them.
I do believe that we human beings often don't feel the need for our loved ones in spirit to be close, which usually comes with time and, sometimes, therapy or personal work. This is common and often results in people not feeling the strong connection they once felt. Yet some people never get there, and that doesn't place an added burden on people in spirit. You seem to want your husband close, so he will remain close for that reason alone. He's knows everything you're thinking, so he knows how much you love him. Be at peace and keep reading my articles as they will give you more insight into these matters and, therefore, more comfort.
It is very comforting to read what you wrote in your reply, especially about my husband knowing how much I love him.
I went through grief counseling after he passed but it was free for a limited time. I still felt that it wasn’t enough so after a few months, I began with another therapist via telehealth/ video. I find it to be very helpful just to talk about everything regarding my late husband and my grief.
I also write in a journal every night.
I’ve made quite a bit of progress, I believe, but am still working through many things. Life without the man who was beside me through most of my life and having lived with him longer than anyone else, it’s been quite the challenge and adjustment going forward. I no longer have my partner to discuss things with and help in important decisions. And many are decisions I now have to make on my own, even if I sometimes ask for the opinions of others.
I am 60 years old. My husband had just turned 61 in 2021 when he died. I never thought I’d have to so soon continue this journey without him.
Thank you for your work and support. What you do brings comfort, encouragement and hope to many. You have a gift and it’s wonderful that you share it.
I'm very sorry for your loss, Karen. I turned 60 this year. Can't imagine being without Melissa. I think dealing with loss is one of the most difficult challenges in life that most people will have to experience. I wish I could do more. PS, I saw your note from above. We had big Bob (my dad) and little Bob (me) until I grew to be bigger than him. Then it just got confusing when people called asking for Big Bob ;-)
Thank you, Bob for this information I appreciate your advice on my dreams it just seemed weird that I would have 2 dreams of him in one week. I feel I do need to find peace that he is alright and hopefully watching over me and my family. I will have to see what he is trying to tell me maybe to move on with my life and not dwell on him so much, I know I need to but I don't want to forget him either, right now I am in a GriefShare class online on Zoom, I did take it in 2016, but I have a best friend who lost both of parents to Covid and it is really hitting her hard I told her I would take it with her and it would help her but she is having a hard time dealing with her Parents being gone and I can understand I lost my dad the same year and month she lost her parents, so that is another reason I wanted to take this course again and also I lost another best I knew since high school she passed away from Covid also, so sad but she is with both of her parents and 2 of her brothers she still has a brother that is alive. Anyway, I know you are busy, thanks again for all your good advice it is always nice to read the articles you write and send to our emails. Thanks again, Lisa C
Hi Bob, thank you for telling me that I really feel that John is trying to reach out to me I dreamed about him again early this morning, when do you have dreams of them? I have heard in the twilight hour can you tell me what time that is in the morning please? Might of been this morning because I dreamed me and John were at this hotel and we were trying to find a place to be alone but everywhere we went there was people everywhere I really feel he is either trying to contact me or just trying to let me know he is with me I just can't see him around me when I am awake lol. This the 2nd time this week I have had a dream about him, I was just wondering is it my subconscious or is ot really his Spirit with me in my dreams? The last time I had a dream about him was July 1, 2023, so I feel you are right he is trying to reach out for me somehow through my dreams, I love dreaming about him, I really miss him he was real ill and we didn't get to talk much when he was alive, I was working at one point then Walgreens that is who I used to work for they let me off to be with him it was real nice of them to let me do that , I was going to go back and work one day a week to let me keep my benefits going but John passed away before I could start he passed away on June 12th, 2016 and I was supposed to go back on that Monday on June 14th, but John didn't make it that far his body gave out, Anyway, I will do what you said and ask him to send me signs that he was really in my dreams I have asked him before to send signs he is around but I haven't received anything yet. Thanks again Bob for your encouraging words if you can give me ideas of what signs I could ask for would appreciate it so much. Thanks again, Lisa Castello
Hey Lisa, I should just add that John isn't "trying" to contact you. He is contacting you through your dreams. I know a lot of people who would love to have their deceased loved one visit them in this way. Many have asked but it hasn't happened. A dream visitation is a much better contact than any after-death communication you can get while awake. But he might also be trying to show you something. If that's the case, it's a mystery that you'll have to figure out for yourself. But given the two dreams, it seems to be a message about finding peace in your living space. In the first dream, you were living in a house that made you happy. In the dream this morning, it involved a hotel where you were trying to find a place to be alone. I'm not saying this is definitely a message, but it's something to consider and think about. Have fun with it. People in spirit are very playful.
Hi Bob, thanks for responding back with me it is a funny subject. I had one more question about our deceased loved ones. I dreamed about my husband, he came into my dream on July 1st,2023. I was missing him, so he came into my dream, and we were happy, He was alive I was so happy to see him but I don't remember everything we talked about I just remember us being happy and living together in a house but I didn't recognize. the house we lived in it did leave me with a good feeling at the end of the dream. My question is did he come into my dream maybe to comfort me and let me know he is still around me and my family? I guess my question would be does he watch over me and my family? Thanks again for responding back with me. Thanks, Lisa Castello
Hi Lisa :-) Yes, your husband visited you in your dream to show you that he still exists and is watching over you and your family. The evidence for this is that he knew you were missing him, so he was able to visit you in a dream to let you know he's around and to comfort you. What a wonderful blessing to have this dream. That feeling will be with you whenever you think of it. Now that you know he's there, tell him some ways that he can show you he's around while you're awake. Make it something that will allow you to know it's really him sending a signal. Check out this article about my first after-death communications (hellos from heaven) and the sign my father sent me to signal he knew I had just written about them (it's at the end). My best wishes to you, Lisa.
Hi Bob, I enjoyed reading your article I think we all have questions and wonder so that is good you wrote this article it gives people relief too. I have heard questions like this before from other websites, I have looked up. Thanks for letting us know about this subject, I really enjoy reading your articles. I do enjoy the humor also, in this article too. Thanks again for a good article I always love reading your stories. Thanks, Lisa C
Hi Lisa, That means a lot to me, thank you. It's interesting, you're the third person to mention appreciating the humor. To be honest, I didn't realize it was there, but I see it now (the Hokey Pokey, doing a jobbie--I had to look up how that's spelled--and spirits watching us with high-powered binoculars). It certainly makes writing about sex, being on the toilet, and watching dogs do their business less awkward. Thank you for you writing, Lisa!
Thanks Bob! I have often had this question but thought it silly (or superficial
or not that important) to bring up. I’m glad you brought it up cause I feel some relief😂!
I get chills a lot and feel I communicate that way often with spirits on the other side- either it’s the actual person I’m thinking of at the time or somebody on the other side (don’t know who - spirit guides?) agreeing with what I’m saying to somebody - usually some encouragement or a personal insight of some kind. So I feel that spirits are always around and to be honest I have gotten paranoid about this topic😂😂😂! Lol!
I love your writings and have loved your book Answers About the Afterlife since you first published it. I ordered and bought three copies then at Barnes & Noble😊and gave away two as gifts.
Hi Marilise! As they say, there are no silly questions. I have no doubt that this is your connection to spirit, both loved ones in spirit and spirit guides. How nice that you can feel the chills sometimes. Yet I understand the idea of spirits always being around can also get into your head. It happens with amateur mediums a lot until they learn that they can tell the spirits what they want them to do. I first noticed this early on when a medium told all the spirits who showed up to communicate to me in a reading to get in a line and talk to her one at a time. Prior readings with other mediums were not so organized. Messages were random and the mediums often didn't know which spirit was talking. This taught me how much control we have with spirits if we just take control. Thank you for your kind words and your generosity in giving copies of Answers to people. It's the greatest compliment one can give an author.
Thanks Bob! I’ll remember all you said. You’re awesome! Been watching since the beginning😊😘…Marilise you
Thanks for the heads up on these questions. I like the sense of humor in your articles. I have some medium friends and a sense of humor seems to be a good part of who they are. Also, our loved ones in spirit have a great sense of humor as well. Thanks Bob.
Hi Tina, that's so true, people in spirit are really in touch with their sense of humor. Perhaps that's why mediums can be so fun. They're talking with spirits all day long. Thanks for writing!
Bob:
My husband’s name was Robert. Many called him “Bob”. Our sons and their friends called him “Big Bob” (he used to lift weights, arm wrestle for exercise). Just thought I’d add that. 😊
Karen C.
Bob,
I have believed, too, that our deceased loved ones “see” us in everything we do, but that it is different for them now that they are spiritual, and they do not have the same thoughts and feelings, and emotions as we do in our human form. We are more limited in our human capacity.
I was wondering what your thoughts are regarding our deceased spouses and do they only “stay “ with us for a limited time?
Someone very recently told me that they believe we can sense our deceased spouse’s love and presence for a time, but that when the deceased spouse believes you don’t need them as much, they move on.
My husband passed away almost 19 months ago from stage IV pancreatic cancer. He and I were married 38+ years, but together 42+ years when he passed. I very much feel his love and can sense his presence which is comforting, but at the same time, can still make me feel sad because I miss his physical presence.
I sometimes feel confused because I will ask him to “please stay “ with me always. I have lost him physically and do not want to lose, too, the Spiritual connection I feel I have with him.
I believe he’s in a much happier place. I believe in Heaven. I believe his soul is at peace and experiencing the greatest joy and love that we here on Earth have yet to experience. I wouldn’t want to be selfish.
I don’t know if my wanting to continue feeling his loving presence holds him back in any way. I honestly don’t think that happens because if his soul/ spiritual self is meant to continue on its own journey, my mere and frail humanity will not keep him from going/ doing what is meant for him. I’m not sure if this is making sense.
It just makes me sad to think that one day, my late husband’s soul/spiritual self (for lack of a better way to describe his new life) may decide he’s been around long enough and doesn’t need to - or cannot continue to - be “near” me, since I have to continue this grief journey here on my own and continue to learn from it. I hope I will always feel his love and presence.
I hope HE feels how very much I still love him.
I’d love to know your thoughts on this.
Thank you for your patient and kind replies.
Karen C.
Hi Karen, this is an article I should write one day, but the brief answer is that I don't believe our loved ones in spirit ever cease to be with us. There is no time in the afterlife, so it's not like them giving us their attention takes up their time. The fact is they can do several things and be in several places in what we would consider the same moment. Also, twenty or even forty years of our lives goes by to them like the blink of an eye. They're happy to wait around watching over us until we come home to them.
I do believe that we human beings often don't feel the need for our loved ones in spirit to be close, which usually comes with time and, sometimes, therapy or personal work. This is common and often results in people not feeling the strong connection they once felt. Yet some people never get there, and that doesn't place an added burden on people in spirit. You seem to want your husband close, so he will remain close for that reason alone. He's knows everything you're thinking, so he knows how much you love him. Be at peace and keep reading my articles as they will give you more insight into these matters and, therefore, more comfort.
It is very comforting to read what you wrote in your reply, especially about my husband knowing how much I love him.
I went through grief counseling after he passed but it was free for a limited time. I still felt that it wasn’t enough so after a few months, I began with another therapist via telehealth/ video. I find it to be very helpful just to talk about everything regarding my late husband and my grief.
I also write in a journal every night.
I’ve made quite a bit of progress, I believe, but am still working through many things. Life without the man who was beside me through most of my life and having lived with him longer than anyone else, it’s been quite the challenge and adjustment going forward. I no longer have my partner to discuss things with and help in important decisions. And many are decisions I now have to make on my own, even if I sometimes ask for the opinions of others.
I am 60 years old. My husband had just turned 61 in 2021 when he died. I never thought I’d have to so soon continue this journey without him.
Thank you for your work and support. What you do brings comfort, encouragement and hope to many. You have a gift and it’s wonderful that you share it.
Karen C.
I'm very sorry for your loss, Karen. I turned 60 this year. Can't imagine being without Melissa. I think dealing with loss is one of the most difficult challenges in life that most people will have to experience. I wish I could do more. PS, I saw your note from above. We had big Bob (my dad) and little Bob (me) until I grew to be bigger than him. Then it just got confusing when people called asking for Big Bob ;-)