Don’t Let Fear Steal Your Dreams!

The life-changing impact of taking risks.

Bob Olson is the host of Afterlife TV, author of Answers About The Afterlife and The Magic Mala, and founder of BestPsychicDirectory.com. You’re reading Bob Olson Connect where you get to read his articles before they become books.

Photo by Katrina Wright on Unsplash

In this fourth article in my series of secrets for a joyful, successful, and fulfilling life, I share the secret that is best learned in hindsight. It’s about taking risks, as we only learn to stop taking risks by experiencing failure, rejection, and defeat.

As children, we take risks naturally. We try new things and experiment with unknown talents and skills because that is our instinct early in life. We think, Cool! That looks like fun. I’m going to try it! And we leap into it.

Today’s secret is protecting that instinct despite life’s natural tendency to break it down.

I gave you the first secret of life, which was all about passion. I gave you the second secret about developing a sense of purpose. The third secret is about asking for help in life. Here’s the fourth one.

Secret #4: Avoid Complacency and Take Risks

“If you obey all of the rules, you miss all of the fun.” 
~ Katharine Hepburn

As you grow older, you’ll become more fearful, especially when it comes to taking risks. The more you experience rejection, failure, or defeat, the more you avoid experiences that might lead to those results. This secret to a joyful, successful, and fulfilling life is a reminder not to let fear stop you from doing what you want, trying new experiences, and putting yourself out there in new ways.

With age, you’ll become increasingly aware of friends and family members devastated by lost jobs, failed businesses, and broken relationships. You may know people whose creative talents are rejected by agents, publishers, producers, or contests. You might even know athletes whose dreams of playing in the big leagues don’t work out. Worse, you may experience some of these hardships yourself. This will make you even more hesitant, cautious, and apprehensive about putting yourself out there in life.

The saddest result of such tragedies and troubles is an increased fear of risk-taking. Some people stop having romantic relationships to avoid the possibility of another breakup (another heartbreak). Some people refuse to leave a job they hate to avoid the possibility of the next job not working out. Some people never start the business they dream of owning to prevent the possibility of failing. And some people never audition for the movie, try out for the team, apply for the promotion, or submit their manuscript to the publisher to avoid the possibility of a painful rejection.

Webster’s Dictionary defines complacency as “a feeling of quiet pleasure or security.” That definition doesn’t sound bad, but the truth is that complacency leads to idleness, settling for less, and playing it safe. These mindsets lead to a monotonous life void of adventure and lacking in passion.

When I advise you to take risks and avoid complacency, I suggest you not let your fears or sense of comfort minimize your potential. I encourage you to avoid being idle, safe, and indifferent. I recommend you live life to its fullest, be adventurous, and focus more on what’s to be gained than what is at risk.

Looking back over the six decades of my life, I realize the only regrets that stand out are the goals I wanted but never tried to achieve. This includes ambitions I never attempted and a few I started but quit midstream. While I failed at some endeavors, I don’t regret trying. I’m proud to have attempted them, even if they didn’t work out. At least I learned from my experiences by trying and failing. Only the goals I never attempted or quit haunt me today.

Life was not designed to be an escalator ride. Life is a roller coaster. Whether you try to play it safe or not, life comes with peaks and valleys. Face the fact that you’re here for the ride. Will you open the windows and feel the breeze through your hair, or will you ride the brake and drive in the slow lane?

Whether you believe it or not, you’re special. You’re not meant to be ordinary. You’re the sun among dimly lit stars. You’re a leader among your peers. You speak your truth when it’d be safer to remain silent. You know you’re destined for greatness, so don’t disappoint the powers that be. They have high expectations of you.

Take the risks despite your fears. Follow your passion above what’s practical. Knock the earth off its axis, and let the world know that you’re here for the adventurous ride as you go screaming by!

“It's only when we truly know and understand that we have a limited time on earth – and that we have no way of knowing when our time is up – that we will begin to live each day to the fullest as if it was the only one we had.” 
~ Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

Final Thoughts

Rather than giving you questions to ponder this week, I will let the piece stand alone. Without prompting questions, this advice for young people automatically makes us think about our lives regarding risks and complacency.

I'd love for you to share in the comments any rewarding risks you've taken, whether they were successful or not, and any regrets you have about quitting something before giving it a real chance. I’ll share a few of mine here.

I’ll admit that I’ve never been one to avoid risks. I attribute this to my father’s entrepreneurial spirit, which I embraced. I’ve been entrepreneurial since the age of ten. I began by mowing lawns and shoveling snow from driveways for neighbors. I also dug up worms and nightcrawlers for a local bait and tackle store. I got eaten alive by mosquitos digging worms by a small brook, but the penny per worm seemed worth the blood donation. I also collected golf balls in the woods beside a local golf course and sold them to golfers for seventy-five cents per dozen, which I put in egg cartons. These early experiences taught me that trying new endeavors had its advantages.

It was risk-taking that led me to become a private investigator out of college (an adventurous career) and submit an article to the Worcester Telegram newspaper in the 1990s (that got published), which encouraged me to write a book about overcoming depression that was published in 1999. This risk-taking mindset also allowed me to start Best Psychic Directory in 2007, Afterlife TV in 2011, and Bob Olson Connect in 2023. And in two weeks, my fourth book will be released, which I’m excited to tell you about in an upcoming newsletter.

Still, I am not without regrets. I deeply regret quitting the saxophone after years of playing when the high school band leader told me I had to change how I held the mouthpiece in my mouth. He told me that even though I was good enough to play the solo in band concerts, the way I held the mouthpiece wasn’t proper. I tried to do what he asked. I even hired a sax teacher to help me navigate the awkwardness of the new mouthpiece position, but it felt like starting over, and I eventually stopped playing altogether.

I started playing again last year, but missing out on thirty years of practice is one of my deepest regrets. I laugh in hindsight, knowing that two mega-successful saxophone players in my lifetime—David Sanborn and Kenny G—held the mouthpiece in the corners of their mouths (a definite saxophone no-no). Fortunately for their fans, nobody told them to change how they held the mouthpiece, or they courageously didn’t listen to them.

I also regret giving up a book contract offered by Hay House Publishing nearly twenty years ago (2006). While my reasons for doing so were valid, they were influenced by the limiting messages of others. If I had accepted the opportunity, I might have boosted my author career sooner since my next book didn’t come out until 2014. C’est la vie.

I happen to be the kind of person who is motivated to succeed when someone blatantly tells me I can’t do something, but subtle limiting messages can negatively affect me. Many people are thrown off course when parents, mentors, or friends suggest they don’t have the talent, skills, or ability to succeed at a goal they wish to achieve.

Some people provide these limiting messages to others because they don’t want to see their loved one fail. Others do it out of fear that if that person succeeds, it will make them feel bad about not pursuing their own dreams. Whatever their reasoning, it’s common for people to deter their friends and family members from taking risks, so I wrote this secret for young people. I wanted there to be at least one voice encouraging them to try new experiences instead of avoiding failure or rejection.

I’d love to hear from you in the comment section. Thanks for reading my article.

With love,
Bob

Bob Olson is the host of Afterlife TV, author of Answers about the Afterlife and The Magic Mala, and creator of the top directory of psychics, mediums, and animal communicators, BestPsychicDirectory.com. This is Bob Olson Connect, where you can read Bob’s articles before they become books.