How I Overcame a Lifelong Obstacle to Abundance

Uncovering a subconscious pattern that blocked me from saving money.

Jun 09, 2023

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pink and black ceramic piggy bank — Photo by Andre Taissin on Unsplash

In my late thirties, about twenty-two years ago, I noticed that whenever I saved some money, some event would occur that quickly depleted my savings. Often, it was a series of events that piled up within days or weeks. My car would break down. My dog or cat had to visit the emergency room on the weekend where fees were more expensive than at their regular vet. Or I had to pay taxes, buy a new computer, or visit the dentist. Whatever it was that happened, the result was always the same: I blew through any savings that I had accumulated.

To better understand this recurring experience in my life, I visited a spiritual counselor named Trish. Trish guided me using visualization to relax me into a meditative state of mind with the intention of discovering the root cause of the issue. Once I was deeply relaxed, Trish asked my subconscious mind to reveal where this issue might have first appeared in my lifetime.

After Trish asked the question, I saw myself as a boy at three different ages. First, I saw myself at twelve years old when my father took me to the racetrack. He gave me twenty dollars to bet on the horses. It was a fun night, and after paying him back the twenty bucks, I won $150 to place in my piggy bank.

About a week later, my parents borrowed my winnings in order to pay their utility bills. Because they could never get ahead financially, they were never able to return the money.

Next in my meditation, I saw myself at fourteen years old. I was a drummer in a band that practiced on weekends, so I sold my drum set to buy a better one. Yet, before I had a chance to purchase the new drums, my parents needed to borrow the money to pay for heating fuel. Of course, given their financial challenges, they were never able to return the money, and I never got another drum set.

In the next memory during my meditation, I saw myself at the age of sixteen. I had just sold my motorcycle for $350. Once again, my parents had to borrow the money to pay the rent, and—as you can probably predict—they were unable to pay it back.

Trish guided me out of the meditation, and we discussed the three memories that revealed a recurring pattern around money from my childhood. She helped me recognize that my anticipation of that recurring outcome trained me to believe that “saved money disappears.” In hindsight, it’s clear how this childhood pattern could lead me to recreate that in my adult life.

Trish and I discussed the power of our expectations, which I referenced in my snowblower story. There’s anecdotal evidence to suggest that our subconscious expectations hold an energy of attraction. Thus, it makes perfect sense that my childhood patterns could be responsible for manifesting the events that depleted my savings whenever I began to get ahead financially.

While the idea that our subconscious beliefs can affect our lives may be disturbing, the good news is that bringing the awareness of these limiting beliefs to our conscious mind is all we need to interrupt the pattern. And this is exactly what happened in my life. Immediately following this meditation with the accompanying awareness of what I learned about saving money, I have since been able to save money with ease.

Trish also taught me how to heal this issue at a much deeper level. This meant making sure that I didn’t feel negativity toward my parents for what happened and that I didn’t feel victimized by their actions.

Trish aided me in feeling compassion for the financial struggle of my parents while raising my sister and me. My father was a truck driver and my mother stayed home to raise us kids. And because money for rent and utilities was often tight, they met their financial demands with whatever was within their means. How were they to know what subconscious lessons they were teaching by not having the means to pay us back?

In the end, I felt gratitude for my parents who were just trying to provide our family with the best life they knew how to provide. After all, it was my soul who chose these two people as my parents, and this choice provided me with the early experiences my soul intended to have in this lifetime.

This experience further allowed me to feel gratitude for the lessons this issue taught me as an adult, especially the valuable lesson about the power of our mind to create life as we expect it. In the end, my personal work on this issue not only ended my lifelong pattern of not being able to save money, it also taught me to feel a newfound compassion, gratitude, and love for my mother and father.

Thanks for reading.

You are a blessing to the world,
Bob

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If you’re enjoying my articles, please click the ❤️ button so more people can discover it on Substack, thanks! (It really helps.)