Bob, you are absolutely right. The few times that I’ve revealed an “other-worldly” experience to someone else it has felt slightly tarnished. I’m pretty sure it happens because that person has never had such an experience. Otherwise their curtain of disbelief would not be felt by me.
Great article. Im at stage three, or three and a half. I decided to come out of the psychic closet recently I would say in the past few years to be more authentic to myself. But I also weigh and measure that and try to have a balanced conversation with someone who might appear more close minded than myself. I never want to make people feel uncomfortable, but I also don’t want to be quiet about my own abilities and experiences as a psychic and a psychic medium. I don’t do this for a living. I’m just having fun with it and learning a lot about this style of communication with the unseen world which to me is endlessly fascinating. I won’t stay in the closet, even if I think someone doesn’t believe. But I don’t belabor the point either. I don’t like being in the closet about my own belief system, which I have curated during my life and very carefully researched and thought about. it also depends on who this person is. Are they a good friend who is not a believer but they know that I am a medium? Or are they a devout Christian neighbor who is uncomfortable around that subject? Is it someone at a party that I just met? It depends on the situation and the person, but I get so excited about exploring this from the standpoint of being a psychic and being a Medium that I really can’t deny my own experiences and I get excited and I want to talk to people about it. But I’ve learned to pull back when I felt it was polite to do so.
Hi Patty, you spell out some of the intricate complexities of this field. I've known many beginner psychics and mediums who, at first, couldn't stop themselves from giving readings to strangers, like waiters and store cashiers. Eventually, they learn that not everyone wants a reading, not everyone is impressed by it, and some people are put off by an unsolicited reading. That's when they typically land where you have landed, doing their best to navigate people's beliefs and interests while also being true to themselves and their own passions. It's complicated, hence the wonderful responses to this article. Thanks for writing.
A bad experience with a well-meaning but forceful friend prompted me to write my own guidelines for being a psychic, getting readings myself, and the general etiquette of sharing psychic information. I have a lot of psychic friends, but I do NOT like it when they just spit out information they seem to ‘know’ from Spirit that is for me. I always ask myself (and my guides)… “well if Spirit wanted ME to know this, why not talk to me?” I’m very receptive to those messages. So always with a bit of irritation and a grain of salt do I listen to these well meaning friends. I never offer advice to people unless I ask Spirit for confirmation, and then ask the individual, do you want a message I am getting? I think you have covered this in past articles. But always a good reminder for us to be polite and thoughtful toward others in our excitement and exploration of the unseen world. Thanks again for the reply!
Thank you so much for taking the time to write about this interesting and important subject. Just like you, after reading your articles and reader's comments, I find myself thinking about the exchange a long time after and I can feel the ripple effects opening my mind and heart in a new way; so thank you and your readers so much for sharing your experiences.
I really appreciate you sharing this and again, can personally relate so much. I know this is a different path that I am taking to share, but I think the message remains the same. I remember as a freshman in high school watching the Franco Zeffirelli version of Romeo and Juliet in our English class. Now, talk about a spiritual experience. I was so moved by the powerful story and the performance of the actors, that I knew in an instant that I was like those two people (i.e. Romeo and Juliet) and that I would never allow bias, prejudice, dogma, etc. get in the way of true love. I knew that I would always follow my heart in love....even if it meant my own death. Because when I watched that film, I absolutely felt alive and the love was absolutely real and palpable. I wanted everyone to feel the way that I did. However, whenever I shared my experience with anyone around me, they would just make fun saying things like "how can you even understand that old language?" Or "look at how the guys' are dressed in that movie; it's like they are ballet dancers! I can't take that seriously" And that was one of the first times that I knew that I was going to have to keep my feelings of love (spirituality) under wraps.
I also remember being introduced by Wayne Dyer to David R. Hawkins who wrote books based on the map of consciousness that talked about the discovery of truth about anything through simple muscle testing. I remember devouring all of his books and telling everyone I could about being able to know the truth about anything and wanted to share in my experiences by practicing the tests on others.......but to my amazement nobody was really interested. After I wrote my final paper in my sociology class on the subject, pouring my heart into the content, my teacher wrote - "sounds interesting," which to me felt like your mom's answer to you when you just discovered something magical....."I believe that you believe it."
Then I remember reading a book entitled "Walking on Water" by Madeleine L'Engle (the author of A Wrinkle in Time) where she shared as a child, she used to have the ability to "float down the stairs." This was nothing new, she had this ability since she was young and just took it for granted...until one day she shared it with someone. That person questioned the validity of what Madeleine told her and after that conversation, Madeleine was never able to float down the stairs again.
I can really relate to the sacredness of the experience you talk about in your article....I always remember a Bible passage about Mary, mother of Jesus when she was first told she was going to give birth to the Messiah by the angel Gabriel. The scripture says that "Mary pondered all of these things in her heart." I think that passage captures the sacredness of what she was just told and she didn't want anyone to take the sacredness of that message away from her in that moment. However, clearly, she must have told somebody, because now her experience is immortal in the text of the Bible for all of us to read, share and experience for ourselves.
Maybe one of the messages in all of this is about being discerning in who we share with and what the timing is, etc. I do believe that we need to share with each other, if nothing else than to help us all believe that we're not all crazy; but then again, maybe in order to survive/thrive in this world...we do need to be a little crazy. I always think of that quote by Eleanor Roosevelt that says "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent" and also "well behaved women rarely make history!" Thank you Eleanor! So maybe a little more unconditional self-love is where we should start in all of this? I know that's the exactly the neighborhood I want to live in....
Hello, dear Leasa, my heart grew several sizes while reading your writing. Once again, it adds to my words, as do so many of the comments on my articles, which you pointed out. I won't attempt to respond to everything, although you do incite inner questions about Romeo and Juliet and a possible past life you had that made that story resonate so deeply for you.
I love your reference to Madeleine L'Engle. I've had dreams of floating, so I'm saddened to think one person ended that experience for her, but the point is valid. Sometimes, all it takes is one person to diminish our sacredness. I also remember mentioning Wayne Dyer in conversations in the early 2000s because I thought most people were aware of his PBS specials, if not his books, but quickly learned that few people had heard of him, never mind the concepts he was teaching. And, finally, wise Eleanor. If you find that neighborhood, please let me know. Thanks for enhancing this conversation.
Sorry Bob, I hit the wrong key before I'd finished and can't see how to edit! To complete my comment 'I believe in the possibility of the existence of anything I cannot disprove'. A bit of a mouthful buI like it!
Hi Sue, that's a great quote. You said it's a quote from an old movie, which movie--now you have me curious? I think treading carefully is a great description, and your comment on creating deep and meaningful relationships is fantastic. Thank you!
Thanks - I'm happy you agree with my take. The film was one of many made by Hammer (horror) Films in the UK in the '60's. It came from Christopher Lee. Sorry, I can't tell you which film it was.
Hello Bob - Thank you for another helpful insight into negative human reactions which, I do believe, can often come from fear. Our experiences of sharing sacred thoughts and memories with others teach us a lot. I think we need to tread carefully - is this person open-minded, kind and supportive? Or are they the type who likes to mock and will likely walk all over our precious revelation in hob-nail boots? If they are, then I would suggest they are't really someone with whom we can form a deep and meaningful relationship, one where we can be completely open and know the other will value our openness and show a genuine interest.
I often quote from an old movie when faced with someone dismissing something and asking for proof. 'I be
Once again, you have written a wonderful article that has brought forward a couple of memories. How do you describe the indescribable? After finishing an awesome reading I was sitting in my office just going over the incredible moments. Then suddenly I had this overpowering feeling of LOVE. I mean total love...it felt like there was no room for anything else...just love...wonderfully overwhelming. And, yet, it seemed to only be a fraction of love...like I was just touching the edge of it and I could sense there was even more beyond me...beyond all things. And these words I have typed fall so miserably short of the experience. I attempted to tell my wife and nothing I said, or expressed, could do that moment justice. So....I've told no one else and it was a most wonderful sacred moment.
My other experience was not so enjoyable. A good friend and I created a paranormal research team some years back and we were asked to interview for our local paper. I was hesitant since very few people in my personal life knew that I'm a psychic...much less involved in paranormal research. The newspaper reporter assured me that the article would be honest to our comments and it would be on page 5 of the paper. Well, that's not exactly how it happened. I'm walking into my "day job" and an individual that I worked with yells out "HEY, there's the famous guy!" I was actually shocked not knowing what he was spurting on about. The reporter had placed the article, and our photo, on the front page! I felt my face go red hot from anger and embarrassment. This article did not only attest to my paranormal interest but that I was also the team psychic. And, at that moment, the teasing and jokes began. Even when walking through the lunchroom a lady yelled out "Who you gonna call? Ghost Busters!" However, this situation wasn't all bad. I was amazed at how many people, when I was out of ear shot from others, approached me and started telling me their paranormal experiences. Including the lady that hollered out the Ghost Busters line. So, I ended up having an enjoyable day talking with people about their experiences. And, to be fair to the reporter, he did write a really great article.
So, I would say that I'm pretty set at stage 2 in your article. However, I'm still amazed at how often it comes up and once I get talking about it I just find myself on cloud 9 enjoying the ride.
Christian, you've done it again. These are perfect stories to accompany my article. Thank you for your willingness to share them here and with me. These stories stay in my mind for days, even longer, allowing me to bask in them.
I had just shared this story with Paula in the comments, but I'll repeat it here because it's related to your article in the paper. I first became a published author in the 90s with a book about my experience with depression. After the book was published, I was asked to speak at support groups in major hospitals like McLean Hospital in Boston. After my talks, people would line up to chat with me and Melissa, and so many people would tell us that none of their family or friends knew they were struggling with depression. This happened so often that it was clear that there were siblings, cousins, and friends who were all dealing with the same issue, yet their secrecy prevented them from supporting one another. Later, when Melissa and I began working in this field, we realized the same situation was occurring in reference to people's grief and their interest in the afterlife.
The lady in the lunchroom who approached you privately is a perfect example of this. I feel compelled to complete this with Marianne Williamson's famous quote, Our Deepest Fears. It feels appropriate after reading your words. Thanks as always for contributing, Christian.
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world.
There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we’re liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
Thank you for this perspective. I lost two children and when asked, I usually just lie about it! But perhaps these questions should be viewed as an opportunity to not only acknowledge what I had and lost - giving the other party a fuller understanding of my story- but also to exchange views on afterlife. I will try to be braver about having these conversations.
Hi Paula. First, you know my heart goes out to you for your losses. Second, I understand the purpose behind the lie. Sometimes, we just don't have the energy--the bandwidth--to open ourselves up to that conversation (or the possible adverse reaction). That's you taking care of yourself. But when you do have the bandwidth, and you're willing to risk letting people better understand you and your full story (even letting God work through you), it can definitely lead to deeper conversations and relationships.
I should add that I first became a published author with a book about my depression in the 80s and 90s. After the book was published, I was asked to speak at support groups in major hospitals like McLean Hospital in Boston. After my talks, people would line up to chat with me and Melissa, and so many would tell us that none of their family or friends knew they were struggling with depression. The stigma was worse in the 90s than it is today. But this happened so often that it was clear that there were siblings, cousins, and friends who were all dealing with the same issue, yet their secrecy prevented them from supporting one another. Later, when Melissa and I began working in this field, we realized the same situation was occurring in reference to people's grief and their interest in the afterlife.
Thanks for your comment. I hope being braver leads to something magical.
Hi Bob, I have never reached stage four either. I have learned to gracefully leave a conversation if the recipient isn’t open to it. But early on, with those closest to me I may have pushed a little more. A dear friend at work was adamant that for religious reasons it wasn’t possible. I didn’t allow him to take my miracle away from me, so I just told him we would have to agree to disagree. About a week later he came to me with tears in his eyes, because he had his own sign. I have to wonder if he would have believed it if I hadn’t shared my experience. So that in itself makes it worth sharing.
This is a wonderful example, Brenda. The risk is always present that we might alienate friendships in doing this, but there's undoubtedly something freeing about being authentic. And as I wrote, when it goes well, as it did with you and your friend from work, these moments make life precious and full.
I want to believe in the afterlife more than words can describe. Can you recommend a good Medium that I might visit? I have tried a few and I am never quite sure. I lost my 2 wonderful daughters to cancer and my husband. I desperately want to make communication. Words can't describe my grief.
Hi Donna, I appreciate the respectful gesture, but you can call me Bob. Belief in the afterlife is a process rather than an event, meaning it's natural to take time, especially if dealing with any level of skepticism, which most people have.
This might not be your case, but I spent my first two years getting readings where I thought the psychics and mediums to be disappointing. My skepticism wouldn't allow me to recognize the good hits because I only focused on what they got wrong. If a medium, for instance, said the person in spirit was a police officer, but he was a security guard, I didn't give that detail credit. Eventually, I had to ask myself what I was protecting myself from by allowing my skepticism to blind me to solid evidence. It's a great question for many people: What is my skepticism protecting me from, and what is the harm in dropping my defenses?
Just like M. E. Oriol said in this article, it helps to remain neutral in one's expectations. I'm not saying that you aren't. It's merely a question to ask yourself. There could be multiple reasons why you tried a few mediums and still need clarification. Yes, it's possible the readings could have been better, but there might have been some compelling hits in those readings that failed to convince you. In situations like yours, it's not my knee-jerk reaction that you need more readings. There might be a better way to overcome what's hindering your ability to believe in the evidence before you.
I'm so sorry that you're suffering from your losses. My hope is always that the articles I write and the videos I create offer people like you some comfort. Still, I know that there are many levels of grief, and learning about the afterlife addresses only one of them. Perhaps what would be better than another reading with a medium is the assistance of a therapist who specializes in grief to give you tools to navigate the pain you feel. I only mention this because I've known many people, both friends and audience members, who have raved about the comfort their grief therapist provided them.
This could be a better focus initially, which might even help you the next time you get a reading. Even if you've tried therapy with a bereavement specialist before, I would try another therapist before I'd try another medium. I'm hoping that something in this answer is helpful to you. Thank you for writing and sharing your question.
Bob, you are absolutely right. The few times that I’ve revealed an “other-worldly” experience to someone else it has felt slightly tarnished. I’m pretty sure it happens because that person has never had such an experience. Otherwise their curtain of disbelief would not be felt by me.
That is such a great way to explain it, Ann. Thank you for that.
Great article. Im at stage three, or three and a half. I decided to come out of the psychic closet recently I would say in the past few years to be more authentic to myself. But I also weigh and measure that and try to have a balanced conversation with someone who might appear more close minded than myself. I never want to make people feel uncomfortable, but I also don’t want to be quiet about my own abilities and experiences as a psychic and a psychic medium. I don’t do this for a living. I’m just having fun with it and learning a lot about this style of communication with the unseen world which to me is endlessly fascinating. I won’t stay in the closet, even if I think someone doesn’t believe. But I don’t belabor the point either. I don’t like being in the closet about my own belief system, which I have curated during my life and very carefully researched and thought about. it also depends on who this person is. Are they a good friend who is not a believer but they know that I am a medium? Or are they a devout Christian neighbor who is uncomfortable around that subject? Is it someone at a party that I just met? It depends on the situation and the person, but I get so excited about exploring this from the standpoint of being a psychic and being a Medium that I really can’t deny my own experiences and I get excited and I want to talk to people about it. But I’ve learned to pull back when I felt it was polite to do so.
Hi Patty, you spell out some of the intricate complexities of this field. I've known many beginner psychics and mediums who, at first, couldn't stop themselves from giving readings to strangers, like waiters and store cashiers. Eventually, they learn that not everyone wants a reading, not everyone is impressed by it, and some people are put off by an unsolicited reading. That's when they typically land where you have landed, doing their best to navigate people's beliefs and interests while also being true to themselves and their own passions. It's complicated, hence the wonderful responses to this article. Thanks for writing.
A bad experience with a well-meaning but forceful friend prompted me to write my own guidelines for being a psychic, getting readings myself, and the general etiquette of sharing psychic information. I have a lot of psychic friends, but I do NOT like it when they just spit out information they seem to ‘know’ from Spirit that is for me. I always ask myself (and my guides)… “well if Spirit wanted ME to know this, why not talk to me?” I’m very receptive to those messages. So always with a bit of irritation and a grain of salt do I listen to these well meaning friends. I never offer advice to people unless I ask Spirit for confirmation, and then ask the individual, do you want a message I am getting? I think you have covered this in past articles. But always a good reminder for us to be polite and thoughtful toward others in our excitement and exploration of the unseen world. Thanks again for the reply!
Hi Bob:
Thank you so much for taking the time to write about this interesting and important subject. Just like you, after reading your articles and reader's comments, I find myself thinking about the exchange a long time after and I can feel the ripple effects opening my mind and heart in a new way; so thank you and your readers so much for sharing your experiences.
I really appreciate you sharing this and again, can personally relate so much. I know this is a different path that I am taking to share, but I think the message remains the same. I remember as a freshman in high school watching the Franco Zeffirelli version of Romeo and Juliet in our English class. Now, talk about a spiritual experience. I was so moved by the powerful story and the performance of the actors, that I knew in an instant that I was like those two people (i.e. Romeo and Juliet) and that I would never allow bias, prejudice, dogma, etc. get in the way of true love. I knew that I would always follow my heart in love....even if it meant my own death. Because when I watched that film, I absolutely felt alive and the love was absolutely real and palpable. I wanted everyone to feel the way that I did. However, whenever I shared my experience with anyone around me, they would just make fun saying things like "how can you even understand that old language?" Or "look at how the guys' are dressed in that movie; it's like they are ballet dancers! I can't take that seriously" And that was one of the first times that I knew that I was going to have to keep my feelings of love (spirituality) under wraps.
I also remember being introduced by Wayne Dyer to David R. Hawkins who wrote books based on the map of consciousness that talked about the discovery of truth about anything through simple muscle testing. I remember devouring all of his books and telling everyone I could about being able to know the truth about anything and wanted to share in my experiences by practicing the tests on others.......but to my amazement nobody was really interested. After I wrote my final paper in my sociology class on the subject, pouring my heart into the content, my teacher wrote - "sounds interesting," which to me felt like your mom's answer to you when you just discovered something magical....."I believe that you believe it."
Then I remember reading a book entitled "Walking on Water" by Madeleine L'Engle (the author of A Wrinkle in Time) where she shared as a child, she used to have the ability to "float down the stairs." This was nothing new, she had this ability since she was young and just took it for granted...until one day she shared it with someone. That person questioned the validity of what Madeleine told her and after that conversation, Madeleine was never able to float down the stairs again.
I can really relate to the sacredness of the experience you talk about in your article....I always remember a Bible passage about Mary, mother of Jesus when she was first told she was going to give birth to the Messiah by the angel Gabriel. The scripture says that "Mary pondered all of these things in her heart." I think that passage captures the sacredness of what she was just told and she didn't want anyone to take the sacredness of that message away from her in that moment. However, clearly, she must have told somebody, because now her experience is immortal in the text of the Bible for all of us to read, share and experience for ourselves.
Maybe one of the messages in all of this is about being discerning in who we share with and what the timing is, etc. I do believe that we need to share with each other, if nothing else than to help us all believe that we're not all crazy; but then again, maybe in order to survive/thrive in this world...we do need to be a little crazy. I always think of that quote by Eleanor Roosevelt that says "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent" and also "well behaved women rarely make history!" Thank you Eleanor! So maybe a little more unconditional self-love is where we should start in all of this? I know that's the exactly the neighborhood I want to live in....
In deep gratitude,
Leasa
Hello, dear Leasa, my heart grew several sizes while reading your writing. Once again, it adds to my words, as do so many of the comments on my articles, which you pointed out. I won't attempt to respond to everything, although you do incite inner questions about Romeo and Juliet and a possible past life you had that made that story resonate so deeply for you.
I love your reference to Madeleine L'Engle. I've had dreams of floating, so I'm saddened to think one person ended that experience for her, but the point is valid. Sometimes, all it takes is one person to diminish our sacredness. I also remember mentioning Wayne Dyer in conversations in the early 2000s because I thought most people were aware of his PBS specials, if not his books, but quickly learned that few people had heard of him, never mind the concepts he was teaching. And, finally, wise Eleanor. If you find that neighborhood, please let me know. Thanks for enhancing this conversation.
Sorry Bob, I hit the wrong key before I'd finished and can't see how to edit! To complete my comment 'I believe in the possibility of the existence of anything I cannot disprove'. A bit of a mouthful buI like it!
Hi Sue, that's a great quote. You said it's a quote from an old movie, which movie--now you have me curious? I think treading carefully is a great description, and your comment on creating deep and meaningful relationships is fantastic. Thank you!
Hi Bob,
Thanks - I'm happy you agree with my take. The film was one of many made by Hammer (horror) Films in the UK in the '60's. It came from Christopher Lee. Sorry, I can't tell you which film it was.
Hello Bob - Thank you for another helpful insight into negative human reactions which, I do believe, can often come from fear. Our experiences of sharing sacred thoughts and memories with others teach us a lot. I think we need to tread carefully - is this person open-minded, kind and supportive? Or are they the type who likes to mock and will likely walk all over our precious revelation in hob-nail boots? If they are, then I would suggest they are't really someone with whom we can form a deep and meaningful relationship, one where we can be completely open and know the other will value our openness and show a genuine interest.
I often quote from an old movie when faced with someone dismissing something and asking for proof. 'I be
Once again, you have written a wonderful article that has brought forward a couple of memories. How do you describe the indescribable? After finishing an awesome reading I was sitting in my office just going over the incredible moments. Then suddenly I had this overpowering feeling of LOVE. I mean total love...it felt like there was no room for anything else...just love...wonderfully overwhelming. And, yet, it seemed to only be a fraction of love...like I was just touching the edge of it and I could sense there was even more beyond me...beyond all things. And these words I have typed fall so miserably short of the experience. I attempted to tell my wife and nothing I said, or expressed, could do that moment justice. So....I've told no one else and it was a most wonderful sacred moment.
My other experience was not so enjoyable. A good friend and I created a paranormal research team some years back and we were asked to interview for our local paper. I was hesitant since very few people in my personal life knew that I'm a psychic...much less involved in paranormal research. The newspaper reporter assured me that the article would be honest to our comments and it would be on page 5 of the paper. Well, that's not exactly how it happened. I'm walking into my "day job" and an individual that I worked with yells out "HEY, there's the famous guy!" I was actually shocked not knowing what he was spurting on about. The reporter had placed the article, and our photo, on the front page! I felt my face go red hot from anger and embarrassment. This article did not only attest to my paranormal interest but that I was also the team psychic. And, at that moment, the teasing and jokes began. Even when walking through the lunchroom a lady yelled out "Who you gonna call? Ghost Busters!" However, this situation wasn't all bad. I was amazed at how many people, when I was out of ear shot from others, approached me and started telling me their paranormal experiences. Including the lady that hollered out the Ghost Busters line. So, I ended up having an enjoyable day talking with people about their experiences. And, to be fair to the reporter, he did write a really great article.
So, I would say that I'm pretty set at stage 2 in your article. However, I'm still amazed at how often it comes up and once I get talking about it I just find myself on cloud 9 enjoying the ride.
Christian, you've done it again. These are perfect stories to accompany my article. Thank you for your willingness to share them here and with me. These stories stay in my mind for days, even longer, allowing me to bask in them.
I had just shared this story with Paula in the comments, but I'll repeat it here because it's related to your article in the paper. I first became a published author in the 90s with a book about my experience with depression. After the book was published, I was asked to speak at support groups in major hospitals like McLean Hospital in Boston. After my talks, people would line up to chat with me and Melissa, and so many people would tell us that none of their family or friends knew they were struggling with depression. This happened so often that it was clear that there were siblings, cousins, and friends who were all dealing with the same issue, yet their secrecy prevented them from supporting one another. Later, when Melissa and I began working in this field, we realized the same situation was occurring in reference to people's grief and their interest in the afterlife.
The lady in the lunchroom who approached you privately is a perfect example of this. I feel compelled to complete this with Marianne Williamson's famous quote, Our Deepest Fears. It feels appropriate after reading your words. Thanks as always for contributing, Christian.
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world.
There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we’re liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
Thank you for this perspective. I lost two children and when asked, I usually just lie about it! But perhaps these questions should be viewed as an opportunity to not only acknowledge what I had and lost - giving the other party a fuller understanding of my story- but also to exchange views on afterlife. I will try to be braver about having these conversations.
Hi Paula. First, you know my heart goes out to you for your losses. Second, I understand the purpose behind the lie. Sometimes, we just don't have the energy--the bandwidth--to open ourselves up to that conversation (or the possible adverse reaction). That's you taking care of yourself. But when you do have the bandwidth, and you're willing to risk letting people better understand you and your full story (even letting God work through you), it can definitely lead to deeper conversations and relationships.
I should add that I first became a published author with a book about my depression in the 80s and 90s. After the book was published, I was asked to speak at support groups in major hospitals like McLean Hospital in Boston. After my talks, people would line up to chat with me and Melissa, and so many would tell us that none of their family or friends knew they were struggling with depression. The stigma was worse in the 90s than it is today. But this happened so often that it was clear that there were siblings, cousins, and friends who were all dealing with the same issue, yet their secrecy prevented them from supporting one another. Later, when Melissa and I began working in this field, we realized the same situation was occurring in reference to people's grief and their interest in the afterlife.
Thanks for your comment. I hope being braver leads to something magical.
Hi Bob, I have never reached stage four either. I have learned to gracefully leave a conversation if the recipient isn’t open to it. But early on, with those closest to me I may have pushed a little more. A dear friend at work was adamant that for religious reasons it wasn’t possible. I didn’t allow him to take my miracle away from me, so I just told him we would have to agree to disagree. About a week later he came to me with tears in his eyes, because he had his own sign. I have to wonder if he would have believed it if I hadn’t shared my experience. So that in itself makes it worth sharing.
This is a wonderful example, Brenda. The risk is always present that we might alienate friendships in doing this, but there's undoubtedly something freeing about being authentic. And as I wrote, when it goes well, as it did with you and your friend from work, these moments make life precious and full.
Dear MR. Olson:
I want to believe in the afterlife more than words can describe. Can you recommend a good Medium that I might visit? I have tried a few and I am never quite sure. I lost my 2 wonderful daughters to cancer and my husband. I desperately want to make communication. Words can't describe my grief.
Hi Donna, I appreciate the respectful gesture, but you can call me Bob. Belief in the afterlife is a process rather than an event, meaning it's natural to take time, especially if dealing with any level of skepticism, which most people have.
This might not be your case, but I spent my first two years getting readings where I thought the psychics and mediums to be disappointing. My skepticism wouldn't allow me to recognize the good hits because I only focused on what they got wrong. If a medium, for instance, said the person in spirit was a police officer, but he was a security guard, I didn't give that detail credit. Eventually, I had to ask myself what I was protecting myself from by allowing my skepticism to blind me to solid evidence. It's a great question for many people: What is my skepticism protecting me from, and what is the harm in dropping my defenses?
Just like M. E. Oriol said in this article, it helps to remain neutral in one's expectations. I'm not saying that you aren't. It's merely a question to ask yourself. There could be multiple reasons why you tried a few mediums and still need clarification. Yes, it's possible the readings could have been better, but there might have been some compelling hits in those readings that failed to convince you. In situations like yours, it's not my knee-jerk reaction that you need more readings. There might be a better way to overcome what's hindering your ability to believe in the evidence before you.
I'm so sorry that you're suffering from your losses. My hope is always that the articles I write and the videos I create offer people like you some comfort. Still, I know that there are many levels of grief, and learning about the afterlife addresses only one of them. Perhaps what would be better than another reading with a medium is the assistance of a therapist who specializes in grief to give you tools to navigate the pain you feel. I only mention this because I've known many people, both friends and audience members, who have raved about the comfort their grief therapist provided them.
This could be a better focus initially, which might even help you the next time you get a reading. Even if you've tried therapy with a bereavement specialist before, I would try another therapist before I'd try another medium. I'm hoping that something in this answer is helpful to you. Thank you for writing and sharing your question.