The Five Ways We Communicate (or Miscommunicate) Our Desires to Our Spirit Guides
Does free will matter in our relationship with our spirit guides? This is what I discovered.
In my previous Tuesday article, I explained the four most common ways that our spirit guides communicate with us (guide us). This article is about the five ways we communicate to our spirit guides what we want in life. This is vital information because many people are unconsciously miscommunicating to their spirit guides.
Our spirit guides (also called the Universe, infinite intelligence, or angels) help to direct us toward the experiences we hoped to have when planning our life before we were born.
The problem with the latter sentence, however, is that it makes us think about fate (destiny). After all, if our lives are planned before we’re ever born, destiny must be predetermined, right? It is not. And it all comes down to one little factor known as free will.
What makes a human life so alluring to spiritual beings is that we humans have free will. Free will is our ability to choose our actions over and above any guidance we might be getting, which means that fate, ironically, isn’t set in stone. Said another way, our free will overrides guidance from our spirit guides because we choose our own actions, which is why destiny is only a hopeful outcome, not a forgone conclusion.
Free will, therefore, is exactly why we require spiritual guidance. Our guides are using the four methods of guidance I wrote about last week to lead us toward our highest good. Yet what most people don’t realize is that while our spirit guides are trying to guide us, our free will is communicating to them what we want in life.
All this being true, free will has its limitations. If it didn’t, most people would utilize their free will to never die, never get sick, and never have anything bad happen. Last week, I discussed how our spirit guides sometimes must influence bad things to happen in order for us to move forward. In many cases, it’s a situation we often refer to as, “When one door closes, another one opens.” We get fired to, later, land a better job. We have a breakup to, later, meet our soul mate. So bad things do happen but may lead to a positive outcome later. This is where our spirit guides are working in our better interests over and above our free will.
A most basic—yet often misunderstood—truth is that what we focus upon expands. This is related to our free will. All this means is that whatever it is that we focus our thoughts on (think about) is what we are requesting from the Universe. So I’ll repeat this vitally important truth: what we focus upon expands.
I’ve written this article so that you can consciously think about what messages you are sending to your spirit guides. The other side of this is that I’ve written this article so that you are not unconsciously communicating the opposite of what you want from your spirit guides.
Here are the five most common ways that we communicate our wishes to the Universe.
1. YOUR THOUGHTS
We communicate what we want in life to our guiding forces simply by thinking. Yet, how many of us focus our thoughts on what we want? The fact is that many of us focus our thoughts on what we don’t want. We do this when we obsess about something in our life that upsets us, when we complain about a person or circumstance in our life, or when we think about something that we’re worried might happen.
This might be easier to understand if you think of our spirit guides as infinite intelligence. Better yet, think of this guiding force as a computer. This computer isn’t human, so it takes in information differently than a person might. At its core, information in equals information out. So if this guiding computer is programmed to expand whatever you’re focused upon, what is it going to deliver when the majority of your waking hours are focused on what you don’t like about your life? This includes focusing on the people or circumstances that upset you or the events you’re worried about that might happen. You’re basically programing the Universe to send you what you don’t want.
Since our spirit guides can read our thoughts, we’re always communicating with them because we’re always thinking. This means we need to recognize that our complaints, worries, and fears are expanding just like our wants, needs, and hopes. If there’s one takeaway from this article to emphasize, it’s that we need to be more conscious about what our thoughts are focused upon.
Many people think that purposeful “positive” thinking is the answer, and in one way it is. But it’s common that we send out mixed messages by having a knee-jerk thought in reaction to our positive affirmation. This means we may be actively thinking about something positive only to follow that affirmation with a thought that we don’t deserve it or are never lucky enough to get such things.
For example, we might tell ourselves a positive statement like, “I deserve the promotion that my company announced.” But many people have an automatic response when telling themselves positive statements like this, such as, “My boss will never promote me, because he doesn’t like me as much as the other candidates.” Or, “I’ll never get that job, cause good things never come my way.”
2. YOUR WORDS
The easiest way to communicate with your spirit guides is to talk out loud to them as if they were right in the room with you (because, technically, they are).
If you want to request something from your guides, tell them what you desire, although you might want to follow that statement with “this or something better.” It’s helpful to say “this or something better” because it’s impossible for us to consider all the possibilities that might be similar but better than what we’ve requested. We simply don’t have the higher perspective that our guides have.
When you talk out loud to your spirit guides, tell them how you’d like your request to look or sound, how it will make you feel, and even what it will taste or smell like, if that applies.
The more details you give your guides about your desire, the better. I’m not just referring to material possessions here. I’m referring to every request: a request to help someone who is ill, a request for your interview to go smoothly, a request that the tornado won’t hit your house, or a request that your missing cat finds his way home.
Prayer is just a form of what we’re discussing here. You can pray with your thoughts or you can pray with your words (by talking out loud to your guides). A helpful tool for this method is prayer beads.
You might have read my book, The Magic Mala. It’s a fictional story that teaches the power of using prayer beads for communicating your intentions to your spirit guides. I happen to use mala beads for this practice of talking out loud to my guides. Malas have 108 beads. The gist of this 10-minute exercise is that I create a mantra that I repeat for every bead. So I repeat my want/wish/request each time I move my fingers to a new bead. By the time I’ve touched all 108 beads, I’ve repeated my want 108 times. This is a wonderful exercise for communicating to your spirit guides.
I should mention that the spoken word has a unique aspect to it that adds to its potency. The spoken word transmits a vibration into the atmosphere—the Universe. Many people love to repeat Sanskrit mantras for this reason. There is power in the vibration of each word, which is associated with an intention. Putting intention and vibration together when communicating to your spirit guides can double the effectiveness of your communication if it feels right to you.
Here's a powerful Sanskrit mantra that I teach in The Magic Mala book: Om Shrim Maha Lakshmiyea Swaha. It’s pronounced: Ohm Shreem Maah-hah Lahk-shmee-yay Swah-hah. Basically, it means thanks to the honorable Hindu goddess of abundance, Lakshmi, for the great abundance she’s sending my way.
3. YOUR ACTIONS
You’ve probably heard that actions speak louder than words. For this article, I can definitely say that actions speak equally as loud as both your thoughts and your words. So it’s imperative that your actions are in alignment with the thoughts and words that you’re communicating to your spirit guides.
In reference to communicating what you want in your life, it’s a good practice to tell your spirit guides what you’re going to do to make your desire happen and then say that you’d appreciate their assistance.
Too many people ask their guides for something and then just wait for them to make it happen. If all you’re doing is sitting on your sofa and watching TV while waiting for a modeling agency to discover you or a publishing company to offer you a book contract, that makes it pretty difficult (though not impossible) for your spirit guides to help you accomplish your goal. But if you actually go to modeling agencies and show them your portfolio or create a professional book proposal and submit it to publishers or agents, now you’re helping your spirit guides to help you.
What you don’t want is for your actions to be in opposition to your thoughts or words.
For example, you don’t want to ask for more abundance and then turn down the promotion offered to you. Or you don’t want to ask for better health but continue smoking or eating poorly. You also don’t want to pray for more fun in your life but ignore an email from a friend who invited you to a barbecue on Saturday.
Sometimes we act in these ways that are out of alignment with our wishes simply because it’s what we’ve always done. When we’re being conscious about our thoughts and words, we must also be conscious about our actions. If our thoughts or words communicate what we want but our actions communicate the opposite, it cancels out the message we’re sending our guiding forces.
4. YOUR WRITING
Wait, isn’t this the same as our thoughts and words? Yes, except there’s a special quality to writing our thoughts and words down, so writing them takes those methods of communication to a new level.
You can write your desires in a letter on your laptop, in a handwritten note, or in a journal. Write your spirit guides a letter spelling out the details of your request or how you’d like your future to look. Some people are more articulate in writing, so use your talents in this endeavor.
If you’re a gifted artist, feel free to draw or paint your communications as well. Use your imagination for turning your writing into art. For example, you might create a vision board where you paste words and pictures from magazines on a poster board.
I lean toward letter writing because it encourages deeper thought. It encourages you to add more detail about your request. You might feel silly talking out loud to your guides with no visible presence in the room, which might influence you to cut your communications short. But it’s perfectly natural to write a letter, so it’s more likely that you will communicate more fully than you would talking out loud. And writing is something you can do at work during your break, on the subway, or in a coffee shop.
I won’t get into the science of it, but many people have noticed that writing things down holds a powerful quality that extends beyond just thinking. It’s why many people take notes yet never read them. The practice of notetaking alone helps to solidify the intent. If you’re drawn to it, it’s worth testing it out for yourself.
5. YOUR GRATITUDE
Gratitude is a feeling, whereas speaking, writing, and acting are exercises that we do. The emotions that we feel also express information to our spirit guides. You might think of your feelings as adding power to your thoughts, words, and actions, kind of like fuel to a fire. And feeling gratitude is the most powerful of all emotions. Since what we focus upon expands, feeling gratitude about what we’re focusing upon adds a potency to your focus that is unparalleled.
Our spirit guides are helping us every day. The amount of assistance and guidance they provide is never-ending. So don’t just ask for assistance; take the time to communicate your gratitude for everything they do for you too. Again, you can do this by talking out loud to them, thinking it, or by writing them a letter. It doesn’t matter how you express your gratitude about what you love in life, what’s important is that it be expressed.
Since we can never know everything our spirit guides do for us, all we need to do in this exercise is communicate to them how much we appreciate our blessings in life. Take one blessing a day, or list as many as you can think of in one sitting. Regardless, it’s important that we communicate what we appreciate in our life so that our guides understand that we’d like more of it.
This is another opportunity to use prayer beads like my mala beads. I created a practice using my mala where I repeat “Thank you for the blessings” 108 times. Every time I repeat it, as I touch each bead, I think of a new blessing in my life. By the end of this exercise, I’ve thought of 108 blessings for which I’m grateful. Some are major blessings, like having Melissa in my life. Some are minor, like a stranger giving me directions. Nevertheless, I feel absolutely blessed at the end of this simple practice.
As I mentioned earlier, it’s very natural for us humans to focus on the things in life that make us fearful, upset, worried, or even angry. Those emotions also add strength to our thoughts, words, and actions, thereby making our focus expand even more. Since these emotions come naturally, it’s wise to offset them by purposely feeling gratitude for those people, circumstances, and events that bless our life. Once again, my advice in this article is all about being conscious of the messages we are sending our spirit guides to be sure we’re communicating what we want in life, not what we don’t want.
The simple litmus test is to ask ourselves: Is what I’m focused upon right now what I want to expand in my life?
We can’t stop ourselves from feeling negative emotions, nor should we. But we can consciously focus on the people, circumstances, and events in our lives that make us feel good. The most productive way to do this is to focus on the blessings in our life. Who in your life fills your heart with love? What activities bring you joy? What in your life makes you feel happy, safe, relaxed, or invigorated? By feeling gratitude for any of these, you’re communicating to the Universe that you want more of this in your life.
SUMMING IT ALL UP
As human beings, we think, we do, and we feel. The five methods of communicating with your spirit guides all fit into three categories of thinking, doing, or feeling.
Thinking: The first method for communicating with your spirit guides (your thoughts) comes naturally. We’re all thinking constantly, so we don’t need to actively think more often. Yet, we do need to monitor our thinking. If what we focus upon expands, it’s crucial that we be consciously aware of what we’re thinking about.
Doing: The next three methods of communication (your words, actions, and writing) are how we take our thoughts to the next level. These are approaches to expanding our thoughts by doing. Speaking is doing. Acting is doing. Writing is doing. What’s fun is that you get to choose which of these methods best fits your personality.
Do you like talking? If so, then speaking your thoughts out loud might be your thing. Do you like to take incremental steps toward the accomplishment of your goals? If so, then acting might be your preference. Do you like to write? If so, then writing letters to your guides might best fit your character. While you’re able to use all these methods to communicate with your spirit guides, you can also concentrate on the one that most serves your interests.
Feeling: When it comes to feeling, we’re pinballs bouncing off paddles in a pinball machine. Someone says something and it elicits a feeling (emotion). Someone does something and it elicits a feeling. We might even read something that elicits a feeling within us. What’s important to know is that feelings add energy to our thoughts, words, and actions. So, once again, it’s important that we pay attention to these feelings we’re having and how much focus we’re giving to them. And gratitude is a savvy way to tell the Universe, “I love this in my life, so please keep it coming.”
As a final thought, I should point out that we have a very limited view of what is in our highest good compared to our spirit guides. It’s one reason I mentioned ending every request with, “This or something better.” This also means that the Universe might move us toward our desired goals via steppingstones, meaning we might be moving closer to our desired outcome but not be aware of it.
If you’re remaining consciously aware of your thoughts, words, and actions but still aren’t getting what you want out of life, it might benefit you to trust that you’re moving in the right direction despite the evidence before you. Practice the methods presented in this article and then have faith that the infinite intelligence that guides you is working its magic in your best interests.
I appreciate you reading my article and hope it benefitted you. Would love to hear how it resonates with you. xo, Bob
Bob’s the host of Afterlife TV, author of two books, Answers About The Afterlife and The Magic Mala, and creator of the reputable directory of vetted psychics and mediums, BestPsychicDirectory.com. Bob’s newest venture is BOB OLSON CONNECT, a Substack newsletter where you can read his stories illustrating life lessons and his articles teaching about life after death.
A thoughtful gesture: Not sure what to give that special someone for their birthday, Mother’s Day, or a “Here’s Something to Read While You’re Healing” gift? Bob’s articles have been known to uplift moods, comfort grief, and even offer hope on a day when it’s needed most.
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Thank you for sharing this article. I needed the reminder that what we focus on expands. Time to check in with my Spirit Guides! 💫
Thank you for the 5 ways to communicate. I try to follow them everyday, but forget to appreciate how grateful I am for my health, family and friends.