The Grief and Belief Connection

The sequential guidance that ensued when questioning the purpose of my afterlife investigation.

Photo by Nick Fewings on Unsplash

Whenever people first learn that I’ve been investigating the afterlife for 25 years, their eyes tend to glaze over like a frosted doughnut. Brain cells that have laid dormant for years begin to awaken. Neurons start to fire and sizzle. This is all in reaction to news of a vocation that appears as incomprehensible to what we understand as normal.

“You’ve been doing what for 25 years?”

I get it. It’s weird.

People tend to ask one of three questions when learning what I do. How did you come to choose this career? How does one make a living investigating the afterlife? And what purpose does it serve?

These are all good questions. I answered the “how it happened” question in my recent article about Why I Went from Private Investigator to Afterlife Investigator. The second question on making a living from it was always a challenge. Basically, I never got paid to investigate the afterlife, but people were happy to support me in teaching what I’d learned in my investigation (e.g. my books and this newsletter). However, it was that last question about purpose that became elusive even to me, at least until the sixth year into my investigation.

It's helpful to understand that my investigation began solely to satisfy my own curiosity. It was natural for me to write about the experiences I was having and the evidence I was uncovering, but I never saw this as a career. I was an early adopter of the internet, so I utilized this new communication medium to share my discoveries. It seemed a waste to keep it all to myself.

During this time, I began asking myself how the evidence I was sharing in my articles helped people. The significance of my research had gotten lost in my search to find the answers. Now that I had many of the answers I had initially set out to find, I began to question the purpose of continuing work that wasn’t helping to pay the bills. I wondered if I should discontinue my investigation. When you don’t know the purpose behind what you’re doing, you begin to question if you should continue doing it at all. I contemplated a pivot in my career.

Coincidentally and in rapid succession, people I knew through friends and family members were dying. It began when my friend, Kelly, lost her husband, Rick, at the age of 35. He had pulled his car over on the highway to answer his cell phone—for safety’s sake—and an eighteen-wheeler rammed his car in the breakdown lane. His passing left Kelly to raise their two children under the age of five on her own.

The day of the funeral and burial, I saw Kelly at the restaurant following the services. She came at me like a wave, embracing me like she’d been eager to speak with me all day. “Bob, you have no idea,” Kelly began with a peaceful glimmer, “I’m so grateful for the reading I had with that medium a month ago.” She’d read an article I wrote about mediumship and was inspired to seek out a medium in her area. “It’s helped me get through this knowing that Rick is still here, that he’s all right. I talk to him and he’s given me strength to get through this.”

A few weeks later my wife, Melissa, and I got an email from Kelly’s brother, Danny, and his wife, Caroline (Melissa’s sister). They were thanking Melissa and I for the insights they’d learned from our work. Danny and Caroline particularly liked what I’d written about my experiences with mediums, which influenced them to watch John Edward’s TV show, Crossing Over with John Edward. They’d seen multiple episodes before Rick’s tragic accident. Their email explained that his death was somehow easier to deal with due to this foundation regarding life after death.

The same year another friend, Mary, lost her sister, Dianne. Mary had been to see a medium whom I’d written about a few months prior. She hugged me tightly in the receiving line at the wake, declaring her knowing that her sister was not dead but still very alive in spirit. Mary told me that she looked forward to hearing from Dianne at her next reading, which was especially comforting to her.

A few months later, another sister-in-law, Jen, lost her grandmother. Nana was her closest friend and mentor. At the funeral, Jen shared with me that she still talks with Nana all the time because of what she learned through my work. She knows Nana is still with her. Jen told me she’s glad Nana had the opportunity to read my book and attend an event Melissa and I presented with five mediums. Jen expressed that she believes the awareness she gained aided Nana during her passing.

This series of rapid-fire messages of gratitude from people who’d been introduced to my investigation of life after death became an “aha” moment that just kept coming. The coincidence of all these testimonials wasn’t lost on me.

While insight about life after death will not eliminate one’s grief, it can change the grieving experience from one of hopelessness, misery, and fear to one of hope, comfort, and peace. It’s the difference between wondering where your deceased loved one has gone, feeling a loss of connection with them, and worrying if they are still suffering, versus knowing your loved one is basking in the loving atmosphere of the spirit world, understanding that they’re still connected with you and watching over you, and knowing that they’re not suffering, but rather, celebrating their homecoming with those who crossed over before them.

Because so many people shared their gratitude with me, which took place over several months, I found a new sense of purpose and fulfillment in my work as an afterlife investigator. This reignited my inspiration for writing about my experiences, and a few years later I created Afterlife TV. I’d always been interviewing experts and experiencers in my investigation, so this online show allowed me to share these interviews with other people.

This story illustrates the reason I’ve continued this calling for 25 years. While I recognize that many people who enjoy my writing have never known a significant loss from which they seek comfort, I’m fulfilled knowing the seeds have been planted for when they do. This gives meaning to my work whether people find me due to bereavement or mere curiosity.

Once the purpose of my investigation became clear to me, I realized that half my impulse to research the afterlife in the first place was due to my own grief. Only in hindsight did I understand that my religious foundation wasn’t enough to sustain my sorrow following my father’s passing. At the time, I thought my investigation was to find answers to my questions about where my father went, which it was. What I didn’t know was that my intuition was also guiding me toward healing.

I guess one can make an argument that I was destined to do this work. I knew a lot of loss as a child. I had a 9-year-old cousin who was killed when a truck collided with her bicycle. My 5-year-old cousin died when struck by a car while crossing the street. My aunt and uncle died in a plane crash, upon which their 10-year-old son came to live with my family after their passing. I had a grandfather who died while living with my family when I was 10. And as I grew to be a young adult, my younger cousin took his own life, my uncle died of cancer, my grandmother passed from old age, two cousins (brothers) died as young men, and the list goes on until my father’s passing in 1997. And then, of course, there’s the book that Melissa purchased for me at age 11 (I was 13). It was titled, Don’t Be Afraid to Die, by Gladys Hunt. Even as a boy, I was fascinated with death. I still have that book today, 46 years later.

A destined calling isn’t enough on its own, at least for me. To truly feel fulfilled in my work, it helps to have a sense of purpose. Purpose fuels passion, and I’m certain that my longing to comfort people’s suffering is what gets me out of bed in the morning—even if that means planting seeds for comfort within people who won’t know loss for many years to come.

I’m grateful to you for allowing me to comfort your grief by sharing what I’ve discovered over the past 25 years or, at least, answer questions you might have about life after death while planting the seeds of comfort for your future. It’ll be there when you need it.

Bob Olson is the host of Afterlife TV, author of two books, Answers About The Afterlife and The Magic Mala, and creator of the reputable directory of vetted psychics and mediums, BestPsychicDirectory.com. His newest venture is Bob Olson Connect, a Substack newsletter where you can read his stories, listen to an audio of each article, and ask him questions or share your otherworldly experiences.

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