Unraveling the Complexity of Prayer

Finding peace amidst the uncertainty of life’s challenges.

Bob Olson is a former skeptic and private eye who has investigated life after death for 27 years. He shares meaningful stories to expand minds, comfort grief, and uplift souls. He’s the host of Afterlife TV, author of Answers About The Afterlife and The Magic Mala, and founder of BestPsychicDirectory.com.

Photo by Joshua Earle on Unsplash

In all my years investigating the afterlife, the evidence I’ve gathered from people who have had near-death experiences and out-of-body experiences, messages from people in spirit through mediums, and even dream visitations, the people talked about the love they received from prayers. ~ Bob Olson

As I write this, my mother is undergoing surgery, so it’s natural to want to pray for her. It’s interesting because, despite all that I’ve experienced and learned in my lifetime about the afterlife, spirits, spirit communication, and spirit life, I found myself struggling this morning to pray.

Look, praying is easy. It’s always best not to complicate spiritual practices. Where I tripped up was in knowing what to pray for—my spiritual knowledge (knowing) seems to be more of a hindrance than a help.

If you remember my article about a Los Angeles carjacking that discussed the concept of luck, you might recall that when we begin to think about luck at a deeper level, we find ourselves in a bit of a puzzle. At the end of that piece, I write:

So, was I lucky or unlucky? We can ask ourselves these questions all day long.

• Was I lucky that I beat my illness, or unlucky that I got sick in the first place?
  

• Was I lucky to win at the casino or unlucky to get robbed in the parking lot?
  

• Was I lucky to have survived the plane crash, or was I unlucky the plane crashed at all?
  

• Was I lucky that my team won, or was the other team unlucky that they lost? And what does that mean when my team loses tomorrow? Does luck change from day to day, hour to hour, or minute to minute?

What if this is not a matter of luck at all? What if this is simply a matter of experiencing life, knowing that good and bad things will happen, and moving forward in the best way possible without giving the incident a label or placing responsibility for it anywhere or on anyone?

This morning, I found myself in a similar dialogue with myself regarding prayer.

You see, my mother is eighty-six years old and has been ill for quite some time. She can barely walk (she struggles using a walker). Her legs and feet are in constant pain. She can barely hear anything, even with hearing aids, so communicating with her is like holding a conversation underwater. She’s had so many issues with her colon that she now wears a colostomy bag, which has caused many of its own problems. Plus, she has lived with pneumonia for more weeks out of the last two years than she has been without it. The doctors cannot find a cause. And, to add icing to the cake, dementia is setting in such that she occasionally gets angry and verbally abusive with her closest loved ones.

The surgery she is currently undergoing is a double bypass and valve replacement for the heart. Considering she’s eighty-six with so many health issues, I was a bit surprised the doctors recommended it. It wasn’t an emergency. The doctors told her she might not live another two years with her clogged arteries. I thought, What if they’re wrong, and she could live five more years? Might the surgery also end her life? Aren’t the doctors just playing the lottery here?

Nonetheless, it’s been out of my hands. It’s my mother’s choice, and she’s made the decision to follow her doctor’s recommendations, so we are where we are—she’s getting surgery.

The quandary I found myself in this morning before praying was recognizing that I don’t know what is best for my loved one, so I don’t know how to focus my prayer. The truth is that what I want to pray for is her peace. I want her not to suffer. Yet, because I believe in the afterlife as I do—as a continuation of life, yet much more peaceful—I know the only way she is going to feel the kind of peace I wish for her is through death. But, naturally, I’m not going to pray that my mother doesn’t survive her surgery. I want her to live. I love her, after all. Yet, none of this is about what I want. This is entirely about what is best for her. Taking it further, this is ultimately about what her soul wants.

I realize this subject is only complicated because we’re dealing with human beings. If my mother were a dog, her doctor (the veterinarian) would have recommended euthanasia rather than heart surgery. Most people I know would agree that putting down a dog who is in constant pain, is unable to walk freely, is almost entirely deaf, wears a colostomy bag, and has been dealing with chronic pneumonia for two years would be an act of compassion. So, what is compassion when it comes to human beings?

Since my mother and I are human beings, I decided my prayers should focus on sending my mother love. It’s that simple. I recognize that the infinite intelligence of Grace knows better than little old me what is best, so I leave it to the wisdom of God. This leads me to focus my prayers on sending her love. I have also sent love to her doctor and nurses in the operating room and everyone who knows and loves her. Rather than play God and pray for an outcome, I pray for love to do what love does best.

In all my years investigating the afterlife, the evidence I’ve gathered about prayer comes from people who have had near-death experiences and out-of-body experiences, messages from people in spirit through mediums, and even dream visitations. In every case, people talked about the love they received from prayers. Even when prayers were intended for an outcome (like a successful surgery or a smooth transition to the other side), the receiver of those prayers spoke only about the love they felt from each prayer, not the power the prayer had in manifesting a particular outcome.

My struggle to know what to pray for this morning has led me to conclude that love is the most appropriate prayer. As I write this, I realize that if it’s appropriate for my eighty-six-year-old mother, it’s suitable even for the youngest and healthiest human beings. Perhaps this is the true meaning of “Let go and let God.” Rather than try to control that which we have no control over, the best we can offer our fellow human beings is to send them love through prayer.

So I take my hands off the wheel and use the potent power of prayer to shower my mother with so much love that even I am willing to lose her if that is what God knows is best for her. Oddly enough, this gives me the peace I wish for her—the peace that comes from acceptance and surrender. And if she survives this surgery, I know that the powers that be chose that result for a reason. If she survives, it’s clear that she has more work to do before she knows that boundless peace that I wish for her.

Thank you for reading my story. Some articles are more about asking questions and inspiring dialogue than they are about giving answers. I would love to hear from you in the comments about your struggles with correctly praying for your loved ones and where you landed that gave you peace.

With love,
Bob

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Bob Olson is the host of Afterlife TV, author of Answers About The Afterlife and The Magic Mala, and creator of the reputable directory of psychics, mediums, animal communicators, and intuitive practitioners, BestPsychicDirectory.com. This is Bob Olson Connect, where you can read his articles before they become books.

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