Have you extended your grief because you think it honors them? Do you feel guilty when experiencing joy after loss? Do you fear your loved one thinks you replaced them?
Our loved ones are always with us even after they are gone. This is how I cope with loss as I see the people that I love getting closer to their departure.
Thank you for reminding us in so many different ways that our loved ones are indeed with us.
I often wonder how to support a friend of mine. We both lost our husband's within weeks of each other, and met months later at a grief support group. 11.5 years later, we are still friends. I feel I have moved on having grieved my husband, and enjoy life again. Sure, I think about him from time to time, and it is usually bittersweet. My friend, describes her days as not going by without her thinking about her late husband and missing him bitterly. I understand this might be called complicated grief. Iused to feel guilty that I didnt feel the same way, but now am concerned she is stuck. How can I help her?
Hi Bob, Your message was thought provoking. It makes sense that our deceased love ones would want us to enjoy life. They are at peace and want us to be. Thank you. Jorrene Vaughn
I loved the absolutely gorgeous fall foliage background of this video! U live in a gloriously beautiful area. I also loved hearing u talk in person, but I also love reading your articles as well. They are both equally great. This subject is one that I find so important for people who are grieving. I lost my son about 71/2 years ago. He lived a short life, passing at age 23. He was physically disabled from about age 10, & the disease was progressive. My ex husband & I were his primary caregivers for the majority of his life. After he passed, initially I felt all the feelings u spoke of. But as I myself became an unprofessional investigator of the afterlife, I soon realized all the things u just spoke about were true. I read books, went to a medium, & listened to many different podcasts about the afterlife. I still missed him and always will, but the relief of not have to constantly take care of his every need, was so freeing. I allowed myself to have happy moments again. I had gone to different grief groups in the very beginning, & left afterward more depressed than when I entered. I asked a woman during one meeting, do u feel that if u let go of the grief that u are letting go of your son? She admitted she did. People really need to read books about the afterlife, listen to podcasts, & go to a medium to help themselves in their grief process. Our loved ones don’t want us to stay in that place of utter despair. I always try to reach out to people after they lose a loved one, & offer guidance or support with books & such. Unfortunately I find most people don’t want my encouragement. Hopefully in the near future, death will be viewed differently, & people who have lost loved ones will realize it’s only a transition & that their loved ones are still very much around in a different way. I pray they will then begin to recover from their grief differently. Thanks for your reassuring talk. For me it’s definite confirmation. For others, I hope it’s a eye opener.
Dearest Bob. Thank you so much for your words of wisdom. I can relate, having experienced the transition of my mom, dad, great grandmother, my 14 year old doggie, and 2 long-time friends the past few years. I was a care giver of 3 of them for 6-7 years and it had taken a toll on me. I felt relieved that I no longer had to be in that role and that there was no longer any suffering for my loved ones. And, yes, I felt some guilt about that but I also know that my loved ones would not want me to suffer. I've read that our loved ones want us to "move on" and that this helps them in their "moving on".
Just this morning I made the very difficult decision to make that dreaded appointment to have the traveling vet come to send my girl, my 13-year-old Gypsy, over the rainbow bridge. She is sleeping under the table as I write this, but the appointment is imminent. A decision to have a pet euthanized is never easy. I wanted to reach out to my psychic/intuitive friends but I also knew they could not, would not confirm my decision. And being a psychic intuitive does not make the decision easier. I just wanted some sort of sign….that my decision was good. That decision is mine to make on behalf of my long-time canine companion. Minutes later, still with a lump in my throat, I check my email to find this post. The timing was not lost on me. I feel like you were personally talking to me. I feel exactly the same about having to rush home to my elderly dog, and I am happy to do all that slow, extra careful care (including cleaning up poop that appears nightly because she is incontinent). I have never minded slowing down to care for her. All beings need careful care and compassion. But there is that nagging guilt, mixed with the feeling of being free of certain duties. A very mixed bag for sure! Sorry this is long, but a HUGE THANK YOU for being there for me, a person you have never met. Thank you for speaking directly to me in your video amongst the fall leaves. Much appreciated, Bob, as always.
What Our Loved Ones in Spirit Want Regarding Our Grieving
Hello Bob,
I hope that you feel better soon.
Our loved ones are always with us even after they are gone. This is how I cope with loss as I see the people that I love getting closer to their departure.
Thank you for reminding us in so many different ways that our loved ones are indeed with us.
I often wonder how to support a friend of mine. We both lost our husband's within weeks of each other, and met months later at a grief support group. 11.5 years later, we are still friends. I feel I have moved on having grieved my husband, and enjoy life again. Sure, I think about him from time to time, and it is usually bittersweet. My friend, describes her days as not going by without her thinking about her late husband and missing him bitterly. I understand this might be called complicated grief. Iused to feel guilty that I didnt feel the same way, but now am concerned she is stuck. How can I help her?
Hi Bob, Your message was thought provoking. It makes sense that our deceased love ones would want us to enjoy life. They are at peace and want us to be. Thank you. Jorrene Vaughn
Hi Bob-
I loved the absolutely gorgeous fall foliage background of this video! U live in a gloriously beautiful area. I also loved hearing u talk in person, but I also love reading your articles as well. They are both equally great. This subject is one that I find so important for people who are grieving. I lost my son about 71/2 years ago. He lived a short life, passing at age 23. He was physically disabled from about age 10, & the disease was progressive. My ex husband & I were his primary caregivers for the majority of his life. After he passed, initially I felt all the feelings u spoke of. But as I myself became an unprofessional investigator of the afterlife, I soon realized all the things u just spoke about were true. I read books, went to a medium, & listened to many different podcasts about the afterlife. I still missed him and always will, but the relief of not have to constantly take care of his every need, was so freeing. I allowed myself to have happy moments again. I had gone to different grief groups in the very beginning, & left afterward more depressed than when I entered. I asked a woman during one meeting, do u feel that if u let go of the grief that u are letting go of your son? She admitted she did. People really need to read books about the afterlife, listen to podcasts, & go to a medium to help themselves in their grief process. Our loved ones don’t want us to stay in that place of utter despair. I always try to reach out to people after they lose a loved one, & offer guidance or support with books & such. Unfortunately I find most people don’t want my encouragement. Hopefully in the near future, death will be viewed differently, & people who have lost loved ones will realize it’s only a transition & that their loved ones are still very much around in a different way. I pray they will then begin to recover from their grief differently. Thanks for your reassuring talk. For me it’s definite confirmation. For others, I hope it’s a eye opener.
Dearest Bob. Thank you so much for your words of wisdom. I can relate, having experienced the transition of my mom, dad, great grandmother, my 14 year old doggie, and 2 long-time friends the past few years. I was a care giver of 3 of them for 6-7 years and it had taken a toll on me. I felt relieved that I no longer had to be in that role and that there was no longer any suffering for my loved ones. And, yes, I felt some guilt about that but I also know that my loved ones would not want me to suffer. I've read that our loved ones want us to "move on" and that this helps them in their "moving on".
Just this morning I made the very difficult decision to make that dreaded appointment to have the traveling vet come to send my girl, my 13-year-old Gypsy, over the rainbow bridge. She is sleeping under the table as I write this, but the appointment is imminent. A decision to have a pet euthanized is never easy. I wanted to reach out to my psychic/intuitive friends but I also knew they could not, would not confirm my decision. And being a psychic intuitive does not make the decision easier. I just wanted some sort of sign….that my decision was good. That decision is mine to make on behalf of my long-time canine companion. Minutes later, still with a lump in my throat, I check my email to find this post. The timing was not lost on me. I feel like you were personally talking to me. I feel exactly the same about having to rush home to my elderly dog, and I am happy to do all that slow, extra careful care (including cleaning up poop that appears nightly because she is incontinent). I have never minded slowing down to care for her. All beings need careful care and compassion. But there is that nagging guilt, mixed with the feeling of being free of certain duties. A very mixed bag for sure! Sorry this is long, but a HUGE THANK YOU for being there for me, a person you have never met. Thank you for speaking directly to me in your video amongst the fall leaves. Much appreciated, Bob, as always.